don't you see the starlight (#TS)

United States

WtW's "cool cousin you see once a year, but the conversation you guys were having... picks up where it left off without missing a beat" (rosi)

Daughter of God

jr in HS
sporadically here

Message to Readers

republished 12.13.20 for recirculation. ignore the footnotes.
how i'm doing rn:
LOVING evermore SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHH "champagne problems" is one of my many faves. "dorothea" and "'tis the damn season" (excuse my profanity) also. "dorothea" reminds me of "betty" in style/sound
finished my Christmas card art
finals next week, I'm not freaking out too much anymore
trying to support all my friends
not reading enough books
falling even harder for a guy, aka CL as I call him on here

my best friend, erin

December 13, 2020


my best friend, erin... how do i describe her?        she would say to start with looks: short, asian, and short, she'd laugh.
my best friend, erin, is easily distracted        by shiny notifications and the allure of black typeface and technology
my best friend, erin, claims she's going out for a run... and she will, eventually...
but not before she writes one more hasty poem        my best friend, erin, has an explosive laugh—infectious and bright
my best friend, erin, likes to sing but knows she can't... but secretly, she craves praise
hopes that her friends are honest when she musters the courage to send them voice memos       
kind of hoping they lie to be nice anyway        my best friend, erin, assesses every person she sees and meets
not meaning to be judgmental        but she is, although rarely out loud       
my best friend, erin, can analyze the male specimen with a degree of impartiality        she has become more bold about it
my best friend, erin, doesn't listen to me as often as either of us would like        she hates how she talks too much
but at the same time, she resists change        she can make conversation with most anyone, but she thinks she cannot
she's not terribly insecure, but not nearly as confident as she would like to be       
no one but i can discern a nervous air about her        constantly fiddling, rearranging, tucking hair behind her ear, adjusting
my best friend, erin, says too much and too little about some things, worried to share her faith        gladly offers opinions
my best friend, erin, has a zest for life that most can only dream of        her positivity can be almost sickening
and then she feels guilty         because her friends don't see the world in the same shades of gold and dreams and beauty
she can't help but smile when she sees a flower or a sunrise or a tree or a bird or anything good, she wants to share it 
but their lives are falling to pieces        or they feel like their lives are falling to pieces        and she feels guilty again
for being blessed        for looking like she's got it all        when in fact       
all of her pieces       
are only shattered    
on the inside       
but she knows        how it looks        the athlete        the straight-A student        the goody-two-shoes     
who makes friends with most anyone        who perceives the subtle shifts she must make to avoid being shut out in volleyball        who dresses trendy but modest        and classic and simple        and makes delicious sandwiches         so she imagines that they're even envious of her lunch        my best friend, erin, thinks too much about what others think of her   
even though most people think about themselves        but because she thinks about everyone else        she assumes they must, also.         my best friend, erin, weaves a thousand narratives in her mind        forever telling stories and saying, "if we were in a book right now..."        my best friend, erin, is stubborn when she decides something         but she can never decide        she sings in the shower and cries at romantic music videos in Spanish and commercials where the soldier comes home or a dog returns to the little girl        my best friend, erin, loves whatever season it is (except winter, but then Christmas and break happen)         she has spend most of her life around adults        so they call her mature         an only child        she wishes for siblings, sometimes        she whispers things that no one will ever hear, not even me        my best friend, erin, looks at the world
and she sees incomprehensible goodness and inexplicable evil
and she had no idea
what to do
but live each day
and bring a little joy 
to everyone 
she can. 
even her grumpy cat.

Several people have done this prompt, but I've seen it sourced to poetri. It's a poem written as if I'm my own best friend.
this got too long, but... yeah. that's me, but written from "my best friend," but myself, which was actually very helpful. i might do a series on this.
love y'all. also, here's draft #4 of my novel comp entry. i only need to cut 65 more words!


See History
  • December 13, 2020 - 7:26pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Emi

    I love it! I hate winter depressing and so boring and nothing grows. : (
    But never be ashamed of having positivity, even if people might not like it! This world needs more light!

    8 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    Traitors and Rebels Chapter 24 is out!!

    9 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Is this my 5th comment? Yes, yes it is.

    10 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Oh, and I’m glad you like my PFP! I’m thinking of writing a story about how dragons don’t celebrate Christmas xD!

    10 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Also, what does ambedo and anemoia mean and how did you find all of those cool words? Whenever I type those in auto correct says it’s spelled wrong XD.

    10 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    *clears throat* Now let me go search for the other comment so that I can writer the event longer comment XD.
    Yes, they are adorable XD. I love them so much. I’m considering having my youngest sister write a story, but when I asked her to tell me a story one time the cute little bunny died... But she’s not the one who created Penelope Porpenstein :).
    It was a travesty. But the town also only had like 6 or 7 restaurants and a bakery (and three of those were fast food restaurants). It was reallly small.
    So, I don’t know the names of all the books (XD) but I just read the last one from the Pantala arc (I think)- The Hive Queen. That one was really good! I read the Darkstalker one twice. It was really sad to me XD. I felt bad for basically everyone in that one. It was good, but still. I love Clay XD. He’s just amazing. And remember the whole family-centered thing the Mud Wings have? I loved that because I’m like that with my siblings XD.
    Hmmm. I’m probably Clay and Sunny. Maybe Glory because of her sass, but I don’t take naps. But I also love reading and am pretty bold... It’d probably just be easier for me to take one of those tests then decide for myself xD. I never really liked or didn’t like Anemone. She’s an eh character. But I love Turtle! *Gasps* Quibli’s like my all time favorite!! I remember writing in my journal that I wanted to be like him XD. The way he analyzes everything and is ready for everything and is so loyal! Ah! Sorry. That was overboard. Winter and Kinkajou are also my favorite out of those ones XD. And I love Cricket! It was a while in between that I read the two Pantala books so I had to piece some stuff together but I love her obsession with truth and books XD.
    Yeah, I read Harry Potter when I was little and I read it and I read it really quickly so I don’t remember a lot, but we’re re-reading it :). XD I was actually deciding between Neville and the Twins but decided on Neville. I could never break a rule or the guilt would get to me and I’d tell and ruin my relationship with the Twins. Unless it was for the DA. But Neville is just so sweet.
    Yeah, totally! Every time I go to the library the book I need is GONE. I want to know what happens to them! But I wish I could live with Alex and them XD. The only thing I didn’t like was all the kissing and stuff. But other than that, it’s amazing.
    You should totally read Francine Rivers stuff. It’s so interesting and intriguing.
    I read the One and Only Ivan a while ago, but I don’t remember all of it. The movie was good, though!
    Yeah, Wing and Claw wasn’t AMAZING, but it was good. I think it gets much better towards the end.
    I still haven’t finished the Missing XD. But it’s pretty good. I like her series about third children better, though. I read that twice. Hunger Games- watched the movie for the first time and was deeply disturbed XD, Maze Runner- READ FEVER CODE AND I NEEEEED TO READ THE NEXT ONE (oof, that was overboard, too) Serafina and the Black Cloak- wait, there’s more of them?, LOTR- started it and it was great but then I read my library books because I need to get done with them first XD.
    Ooh, Royal Diaries sounds super cool! I requested some from the library but I didn’t get them (I was on a trip and I think my good expired). I requested the one about Cleopatra, Nzhinga, and Anacaona, I believe. But they sound really cool and I’ll probably get a few each time I go to the library.
    Ahahaha, thanks XD. I literally pulled out my reading log so I could give you the best ones xD.
    Yes, please read it. But count each time you cry and then tell me XD.
    Your science teacher sounds pretty cool, too XD. My whole curriculum is Christian-base, but that’s why we chose it. We didn’t want any Evolution or stuff like that, but we also got a whole bunch of teaching on just life and general from her which I love. So I assume you go to public school? But both Ken Ham and my teacher are amazing. I’ve never heard of the Genesis Record before, but it sounds cool.
    Yeah, I love West’s music.
    Totally! There is a lot of depravity in the world, and if I sounded like I don’t believe that I wasn’t trying to. A lot of stuff is sad. But I think not being grateful and only focusing on the bad stuff will just spiral down into depression, you know?
    Yeah, I love talking with you, too! Hey, I can’t comment often, but when I do it’s long and detailed XD.
    Also, sorry if there’s any typos XD.

    10 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Seriously, I can relate to practically every piece of this XD.
    I love the part about poetry! I think that is totally something I would do XD. Alas, I’m only allowed an hour on electronics each day... Well, I guess I could write with pencil. But then I usually end up losing it XD.
    “constantly fiddling, rearranging, tucking hair behind her ear, adjusting” I do this too XD. I feel like unless you knew my ticks I usually look pretty confident/relaxed/not nervous. But I am not, I’m just good at hiding it XD. I fiddle with my hands; my give away.
    “worried to share her faith gladly offers opinions” Sadly, yes. I never talk to people about God but I always give opinions. That’s why I like being online because I can write about my faith and I don’t have to deal with talking to someone face-to-face, with my throat constricted and my stumbling, you know?
    “ she feels guilty again
    for being blessed” I thought I was the only one who did this! I always kinda feel guilty for things that I do or I have that is just part of who I am and how I live. Or sometimes embarrassed because people look at me like I’m so amazing. But I thought I was the only one!
    “but because she thinks about everyone else she assumes they must, also” Me. I... observe people XD.
    “if we were in a book right now...” I cannot tell you how many times I have done this. Or, like, commentated my day XD.
    “so they call her mature” I’m not the only child, but I am a big sister. I’m only 13 and I’ve been asked many, many times if I’m in college. And if my sister is my daughter. And I’m mistaken for my mom a lot. XD. But I don’t think I would like being an only child. I love having a big family.
    And that ending... Great job. It reminds me of that song from Frozen 2 where Anna sings about doing the “Next right thing.” I think that’s a great philosophy!
    I think I may need to do one of these...
    Great piece!
    Also, I liked this and started to comment, then we had to leave so I couldn’t finished until now XD. Whoops.

    10 months ago
  • beth r.

    love this!
    re: aw thanks :)

    10 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    Did I like my own piece (probably for the first time ever) because I didn’t feel like republishing but wanted it to show up on the dashboard?
    Yeah, I did.
    Please talk to me about the stuff in my message board or in my piece. Please take to me about hand lettering, baking, books, essay writing, Christmas cheer, and especially evermore. (Not in that order, exactly.)

    10 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: I'm glad you liked my piece! did it remind you of any particular sleeping at last song????? they're definitely my favorite lol, i love their music!!!! :D
    Also, yessssssssss Anne Lamott! I'm rereading bird by bird just because it is so witty and i don't want to EVER forget any of her wonderful advice. I literally love her so much, ahhhhhh! So good!!! And her son Sam is so funny XD
    anyways, hope you're having a great day!!! :)

    10 months ago
  • sunny.v

    also, re: i’m aware of oedipus’ story!! funny stuff, lol. thanks for the book rec! <3 no need to shut up, i loved your ramble

    10 months ago
  • sunny.v

    re: oh dang howd you find that piece haha? it’s one of my older ones! thanks for reading it in any case! i live in texas, probably one of the bigger cities, and. people have been kinda nasty? anti-asian sentiments were so high at the beginning of this, it was so gross. hope you’re staying safe! and i hope for better, too

    10 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    Also... a new username challenge is on the way for winter! for those of you in the southern hemisphere... idk. i'm sorry. maybe someone there should start a summer username challenge?

    10 months ago
  • SunV

    Awww! I love this! Like Huba Huba, I loved the term 'Introverted Extrovert'. I'm a complete introvert, but I still love it!

    So.... I wanted to thank you. For everything:

    10 months ago
  • Huba Huba

    Aww this piece is so sweet!
    And I love the way that you call yourself an introverted extrovert instead of using that generic word, ambivert. I personally feel like extroverted introvert would describe me a lot, and both phrases are so much better than ambivert.

    11 months ago
  • wil

    "analyze the male specimen..." you analyzing me too? lol.
    re: William Wilberforce? They don't teach you guys about him in school? He's so cool. He ended slavery in England. He was a member of Parliament at one point and fought to abolish slavery. They actually made a movie about him, "Amazing Grace" (made 2006).

    11 months ago
  • ava09 (sorta back)

    okay so we're SOOO similar!!! like honestly it's kinda scary but yeah i related to everything you wrote so much! i'm an athletic nerd too (i play soccer and run) and i know what you mean about adjusting yourself so you don't get shut out from the team. in terms of the piece, though, it's honestly incredible. i found myself reading it in what i would imagine your voice to be, and the formatting is so cool. i cannot put into words how much i love this so i'll just go now haha but it's honestly stunning.

    11 months ago
  • (sk)eyesofocher

    awwwwww I love this so MUCH! I can see you clearly^^

    11 months ago
  • LaurenBeeWrites

    This is amazing. Brought tears to my eyes. Very personal. Love this.

    11 months ago
  • dead account

    also d a ng
    this is really good!

    11 months ago
  • dead account

    re: dude, i told you it was the greatest joke in all of human history. of course you're still laughing.

    11 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    dam this is AMAZINGGG!

    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    ASJDLSKSF stahhhp being so incredibly talented (jkjk never stop)

    11 months ago
  • rwong

    woahhhhh this is, i mean, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! it's just so beautiful and I love love love how you describe youself and the way you see the world, i don't really know how to describe it, but i guess, just know that i love it <3 have a wonderful dayyyy :)

    11 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    "and then she feels guilty / because her friends don't see the world in the same shades of gold and dreams and beauty" wow, this line resonated with me so strongly... as an optimist, i really get this. it's so hard when not everyone sees the beauty of the world the same way when you do. because, like you said, then you get guilty for being... happy, if that makes sense? i feel like maybe it doesn't, but you get it, right?
    this is beautiful. it's actually really therapeutic, to write like this--i really enjoyed doing mine (it's called "how the sunlight shines" if you want to check it out). yeah... i just really liked this <333

    11 months ago
  • poetri

    This is one of my favorites that I've read so far! Wow, i started on the surface and slowly got more and more personal, almost like you were literally pouring out your soul on paper. I love that. Fantastic work, my friend :)

    11 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    oh wow oh wow oh wow. Of all the one's i've read--i relate to this one SO MUCH! im dead serious--we would get along so well irl.
    re: i can totally relate to the young dating thing in hs. it's the same for me. I wanna wait as long as I can and strengthen our friendship before anything else. Alsoooo thank you for letting me know about your next draft--ima check it out rn!!

    11 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    wow, just rereading, and this got pretty personal. but hey, if you have any questions for me, drop it in the comments and i'll get back to you. (when i say short, i'm just grateful i'm over five feet. 5'1" to be exact.) i think i've stopped growing, too. i should have picked a sport where height was inconsequential. like softball, or curling.

    11 months ago
  • JustAnotherDarling

    beautiful. i have no other words <3
    (and i just LOVE how you've formatted this too)

    11 months ago