midnight.summerrose

United Kingdom

Rose
I love writing. ❤️
Probably daydreaming. ✌️
Inspire others, love yourself.
I'm back, but I'm not going to be that active!

Message to Readers

Draft 2. Please let me know what you think! Comments are appreciated!! :) Thank you for all of your help and peer reviews as mentioned in the footnotes.

Happiness Before Your Death Date

November 16, 2020


Her descent to Earth held the light from a thousand stars. She left a rainbow trail behind her as she came down to Earth.

God spoke. ‘Time to fulfill your destiny’.
When past meets present and present meets future, an angel will achieve her destiny. She had been waiting for this day her whole existence; ever since she died at the age of 16 and became an angel. Would she succeed? What would Earth be like after all of this time? She was yearning for an answer.


They say a rainbow is a product of rain and sunshine. In fact, it is actually an angel being sent from heaven. The aura of the brightest light combined as she gently dropped to Earth. Her name was Fern Wallis.
***
Memories swirled around Fern's head, like a witch’s cauldron. She brushed a strand of golden hair from her face.

3rd March 2018: Day 1

Every angel’s job is to give a human happiness before they die. At the present time, she had a year until Adeline’s death date.

The journey to Earth hadn’t been too taxing. Fern could go anywhere she wanted in a blink of an eye. Her task was simple: act as a new student in High School and give her ward, Adeline, happiness.
Fern explored this foreign world. Everything seemed strange and new. She had seen reflections of Earth in the water, it sparkled with tiny fractions of light, but it didn’t compare to the phantasmagoria of her actual presence on Earth. She had forgotten what it felt like to breathe in and out, to feel the blood pumping through her veins. She felt the odd sensation of wearing clothes: a burgundy t-shirt, a light blue denim jacket and some black ripped jeans. In front of her stood a huge white building, towering over the miniature houses. The landscape was a green canvas, painted with trees billowing in the wind and nature blooming from the cracks in the Earth.
Nerves rattled inside her body.
'Chin up' she muttered to herself, 'don't look suspicious'. Striding confidently into the white school building, she went up to the desk. Miniature clouds of dust parted as she rang the silver bell. Presently, a short woman with thick glasses came up to her. "Can I help you?"
"I'm Fern Wallis, the new student." Fern replied candidly, internally trembling, biting her lip.
"Oh yes, let me just get everything you need." The receptionist smiled and then shuffled to the endless stacks of desks behind her. Fern looked around at the school reception. Colourful posters were scattered across the walls. The receptionist fished around in the draw for a few seconds and then emerged with a planner and timetable. "Here you go," the woman said. "You also have a buddy, Adeline, who should be coming soon to show you around and get you settled in."
"Thank you," Fern replied.
After around 10 minutes of waiting, a sulky girl with coarse black hair and dark skin trudged down the corridor. "Hello, I'm Adeline. You must be Fern." She said.
"Hi," Fern murmured, relieved. ''This is all going to plan,'' she thought.
The rest of the day passed slowly and tediously. Adeline and Fern didn't talk much and Fern's forehead was full of worry lines as she walked out of school. She hoped to talk more tomorrow because unfortunately, Adeline appeared to be very dreary and self-centered.

*Tyres screeched to a stop. Bang. Silence. A quiet haze of sadness passed over like a cloud. The end had come.*
***

2 months later
"Fern, you coming to Jake's party?" A voice asked hopefully. Fern was jolted from her thoughts.
"Huh?" she said.
"Jake's party, tonight. Everybody goes, it's an annual event; the highlight of the year. He lives in a mansion. Thought we could go together because I need someone to go with-" Words tumbled out of the voice's mouth.
"Yeah sure," she found herself saying, as she turned to establish who the owner of the voice was. She was surprised to see that it came from Adeline who smiled sweetly. Fern's heart skipped a beat. ‘Good,’ she thought, ‘hopefully she will have fun.’
Fern's day passed agnonisingly slowly.

*Tears slid down the faces of the people present. Everyone was wearing black and mourning. 
“We are here today to commemorate the life of Adeline Morris...”*


Fern arrived at the party with a tight, blue dress and blue high heels, her golden hair flowing down to her waist in neat waves. Looking around, she glided over to the bar, “drink please” she said loudly ‘I might as well act human’ she thought. As she was drinking, a light finger tapped her on the shoulder, she swiveled around. It was Adeline, who dragged Fern onto the dance floor. 
Music blared in their ears as they danced their hearts out. “This is the happiest I’ve been in my life!” Adeline said, tears sparking in her eyes. “Is this what ecstasy feels like?”

*Fern’s tears rolled down her cheeks, staining her eyes with black smudges. She felt her heart break into a million pieces.*

The party was a blur of multi-coloured lights and loud music. Fern lay down on her bed, exhausted. All she could remember was Adeline's face full of joy. She went to sleep, her head spinning from the intoxicating drink.

*Darkness screened off the stars that scattered the sky. A figure stood on the mountain top, wavering in the wind. Golden wings sprouted from her body, unfurling like a butterfly from a cocoon. She was an angel from heaven: beautiful and enchanting, but disconnected and other-worldly. Tears of joy and dismay ran down her face. She had succeeded, but Adeline's existence had ended; gone in a wisp of smoke. Adeline's fraction of sunlight in Fern's dark sky had vanished, but Fern had found her answer.*


 
1) Word count: 833, Draft 1
Does it make sense? I left around 200 words so I have room to add things. It would mean the world to me if you review this. I desperately need reviews. I feel like I need to add more detail to the main story. Thanks for reading!! This is review for review. :)
Have a great day!

2) Wow, thanks guys for all of your comments and reviews:
Comments:
Karma's_Coming
Bookwitch
BlueWolf
Rachaelgrace
.amelia.
Reviews:
tas (yellowbrickrd)
BizzleWrites (thank you also for the title ideas, I played around with one of them, thanks!)
Starcatcher (hope this draft isn't insensitive: please tell me if I need to change anything)
Liu Zirong
Rohan's Defender
Paisley Blue
birthdaycandles
.amelia.
Thank you so much guys!!! :) You are all amazing!!
Ok, so I've changed this a lot, hope you like it!! :)
The parts in *italics* are in the future, hope this makes sense!!
Word count: 951
Draft 2
Also, if you're reading this, go check out BlueWolf's competion piece, it's incredible!! :)




 

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11 Comments
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Just reviewed! Tho I don’t have much to comment on except how AMAZING this is!!!


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aww!! Of course, I’ll do one soon when I get a chance!!!! :)


    7 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: awww thank you so much!! you're so sweet. I'm feeling a bit better. i appreciate your support! :)


    7 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    Oh my goodness, I just noticed, congrats on 50 followers!!!


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aw thank you!!


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    And I saw your other comment! So, I think the detail is great! It’s hard I’m sure cause there’s a word limit, but I feel like this is a very bittersweet, hopeful, GORGEOUS excerpt! It really touched me from the first time I read draft one. If you need another review I can do one when I get time.


    7 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    re: I'll let you know, I probably won't be finished until late 2021 or early 2022 though, but I'll let you know :)


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    And thank you for the shoutout! I’m glad I could help!


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Ahhh, this. Is. Amazing. That last sentence gave me chills!!!!! Oh my gosh, wow!!!! I love this so so so so much!!!


    7 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    If not it should be coming soon, sorry.


    7 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    Did you get my review for this??


    7 months ago