Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
What do y'all think????
The start of the story is really interesting, making you feel the feeling of what kids think when there's a new student. I really like how you don't know anything about Amelia to start with, as it kind of makes her feel scary, or non-human. The writing style has a similar one to childrens' books, such as Harry Potter. The ending was satisfying, but also very sad.
The character Amelia is very sad with her back-story, making readers feel empathetic towards her. The other children, who wonder so much about the mysterious Amelia feel relatable and realistic.
Some more details about the childrens' speculation about Amelia, such as dialogue, would be helpful and could include humor.
The novel feels like it's America, because of the students reaction to a student from Scotland. I think details on the whether in the first part, (set in America?) would be good, to get a sense of how different Scotland is. Obviously in the second part, there's the rain, but I think including the Scottish landscape would add to the atmosphere. Saying what the sky looked like when Amelia and her Mum left the house would be helpful too.
This was a really good story, easy to read and captivating. I think you should definitely keep working on it, even if not for the competition, for yourself. Great job!
There a re some grammar mistakes, such as putting dialogue from two different people on the same line. If I'm wrong about the grammar rules here, you don't have to listen to me. More paragraph breaks could also be good, but it depends on the style and is a fine balance. Over-all, great job!
Oh, and I really like your piece's name.