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Message to Readers
Just got back... gonna check up on you guys and read your latest work! Thanks for your kind comments! <3
The ease with which the screenwriting format translates to an understandable plot, as well as how lively your characters are! I loved the part where Elle gasps and runs down the hill, then it cuts back to the other sisters, very intriguing. I really enjoyed hearing about the sister's relationship, that was very pleasant. Of course, the most delightful aspect was the magical graveyard, but that almost goes unsaid. Very surprising feature but very interesting.
Elle's infatuation with the graveyard. I'd love to hear more about that. Not to mention the graveyard itself! What a beautiful, wondrous thing to stumble across! I'd be very interested in a series of short films about this one particular throughout the ages.
Amazing screenwriting format, really high level. You do an excellent job of keeping the action lines brief but effective, making it a pretty easy read. Descriptions of characters and locations are top-notch, My one suggestion is that you read through the dialogue and make sure you're not repeating anything that an audience member would be able to infer from the visuals. Other than that, so, so good.
I tried to add as many notes as I possible to be as helpful as I could, as well as mentioning why I would alter things so you could understand why. Frankly, though, I was nitpicking. Any comment I made was based on personal preference so obviously don't feel obliged to change it -it's your script after all! I'd seriously love to read more when you write more.