acrosstheuniverse28

United States

Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
She/her
Ballerina
Ravenclaw
Tolkien-ite
Psych-o
Beatlemaniac
(Yay classic rock)
Amateur astronomer
History buff
Musical Lover
Cringey sense of humor
Est. March 2020

Message to Readers

Look at that, I actually stuck to some sort of structure in this poem! It's a miracle! Pretty proud of this, so please tell me how I can improve! Tear me to pieces, 'cause that's how I'll get stronger ;)
Also, alternative title ideas are greatly appreciated!

The Moon Seems Much Nicer

November 9, 2020

FREE WRITING

24
let me go
    why should I stay?
        give me a shuttle
            and send me away
I'll plant my own flag there
    there's plenty of room
        I'll be the first one
            to dance on the moon
                I'll live there forever
and I want to leave soon

so let me go
    I'll gladly volunteer
        to journey where no human
            has gone for years
it's no trouble at all   
    the pleasure is mine
        don't worry one bit
            I'll be perfectly fine
                the moon seems much nicer
than here, at times

"How brave she is!"
    the world will cry
        but I'm not looking back
            I'm just ready to fly
I'm off to the moon
    where I'll stay for a bit
        but why not go further?
            why would I quit?
               the edge of the solar system is where I'm headed
just 13 billion miles more, if the world will permit

I'll reach Voyager 1
    together we'll see
        new stars and new planets
            just him and me
now it's too late
   I've long since gone free
        the journey of a lifetime
            is what it will be
                and if it takes a whole lifetime
that's fine by me
"Let me go far away somewhere they won't ever find me, and tomorrow won't remind me of today." -Newsies
You ever want to just up and leave? Forget about humanity and spend the rest of your life wandering on your own, not worrying about anyone or anything other than yourself and the path ahead? Just like Jack Kelly... Except I ain't goin' to Santa Fe, I'm going across the universe ;)

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  • November 9, 2020 - 11:18am (Now Viewing)

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26 Comments
  • therisingwriter

    so sweet!
    Re: thanks for the comments:)


    about 2 months ago
  • BlueWolf

    re: Thankyou.
    This was a great read.


    about 2 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    Wow! What a great idea for a poem. Nice job!
    Re: thank you :) Oh that’s awesome I’m glad you liked Little Women!


    2 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    And another Sagittarius is waving back at you with a toothy grin! :D


    2 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    This is so musical and will definitely pass for a wonderful song! Also, it justifies your username, across the universe. :D
    This idea is very tempting though I don't know if I'll grab it even if I'll get an opportunity. Moving away from my family and friends and all the warmth here shudders me sometimes...
    But well, one day we all will go across te universe. ;)

    Re: Thank you so much for your sweet words! :D


    2 months ago
  • dead account

    re: thank you! i was worried people wouldn't get it


    2 months ago
  • SamRose

    This is so pretty! And as a reply to your comment on my post, thank you! And it's nice to meet another member on here!


    2 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    This is beautiful!! Wow!! :)


    2 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Whoa this poem is so beautiful! The rhyming and the formatting and the message and everything is just so perfect... I had to reread it a few times. Amazing piece! (Also yay for classic rock :) )


    2 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    This is beautiful!! I love the format :)
    re: Thanks so much for your comment <3 yeah, I completely agree with that, it's often a lot harder to plan it out, sometimes it's best to just write.


    2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Thank you so much! Hopefully you will one day! It's a beautiful country ^_^


    2 months ago
  • AbellePuppy34

    I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!


    2 months ago
  • ~wildflower~

    This is an incredible poem! Yes, I can definitely relate to that feeling - that wanting for absolute freedoms - and you have portrayed it so well in this piece! The rhymes are all perfect, the flow is wonderful, and the format fits so well. I just want to read this again and again!!
    Re: thank you sooo much for your lovely comment! Your support means so much <3


    2 months ago
  • rwong

    re: sameee i'm super scared of being on stage/being in the spotlight so i've never ever been in a theatre production but i can recite so many lyrics all that stuff :)


    2 months ago
  • rwong

    re: LOLLL sounds like fun getting lyrics all jumbled up. I think i like the movie more since the story line's a bit different and it's the original, but can i just mention how talented all the people are because singing, dancing, acting, and NOT PANTING after it!! like ?!?!?!?!! oh and for the musical on i love the set it's so high...and cool...i kinda wanna climb up it just to see XD have an amazing night (or day or evening)!


    2 months ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Replying: Yeah, that's true. Thanks for your comment and like, since I posted the piece yesterday no-one else has reacted. It's funny when one you don't think is that good gets LOADS of reactions, then one you think people will like gets hardly any.


    2 months ago
  • rwong

    i love the flow and the rhymes and the whole thing. and OHMYGOSH YOU'RE A NEWSIES FAN! do you like the movie more or the musical?


    2 months ago
  • dream02

    This is amazing!!
    Re: awe thanks so much! Be honest, what first came to mind when you read this?
    I'm low-key thinking of making a short story from this. We shall see what comes out of it lol.


    2 months ago
  • madeline3.14159

    Re: Thank you so much!!! Yes, I'm actually waiting to start my online class right now.... :) I guess that's one perk of being online, I can be on WtW while warming up/stretching XD


    2 months ago
  • aiyanna

    Re: Thanks :) yes, I do hope things get better, I think the youth have a vision that we are willing to put into action. It's good to be hopeful for sure. And yes-- any place that is somewhat isolated and wild is so inviting! It's semi scary ( which is mostly how I feel about space haha), but I totally get the appeal :)


    2 months ago
  • aiyanna

    I love this, the flow from one line to the next is so satisfying. I like how it's about space, and even though I don't necessarily want to go to space, there is a sort of relatability to it. Since, any day, I would be totally down to go run off into the mountains where there aren't people.


    2 months ago
  • ect.13

    This is a gorgeous poem! I get that too (quite a lot haha). Well done, keep writing :)


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you!


    3 months ago
  • Maddy Benecia

    this has such nice poetic flow and imagery!


    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    yes, totally get you! love the structure and flow and beauty to this poem. really relevant in this time and place, too. well done-- i want to join you! :D
    re: okay thank you! sometimes i think i'm the only one but i'm not and yeah. thanks! you hang in there, too! <3<3<3 also i got my drama done so that's something!


    3 months ago
  • Emi (Revival Year #NEWYEAR)

    I love the feeling of adventure and exploration in this piece! I love the last stanza about lifetimes; it really gives a sense of the eternal.


    3 months ago