This phrase has always resonated with Mira. When the trauma in life is too much for a person to handle, would it be better for him to forget, and live as if nothing had ever happened? Or should he muster up the mental strength to face his grief head on?
She wondered while waiting in a large lab facility, which she would regularly visit for the entire 12 years of her life. For scientists to satisfy their selfish curiosity of her ability to retain all of her memories.
She was sitting on a long cushioned seat at the center of a large, circular room. She had to be cuffed to the chair at her limbs, and above her head was a heavy helmet she had to wear.
Cameras and microphones were scattered everywhere, and her every move could be observed by scientists on the second floor.
Pouting, she placed her helmet on, before allowing herself to be constrained by the metal cuffs.
"Now, for this test, there are going to be lots of memories running through your head, and it will be painful, but It'll only be for 3 minutes," a doctor tried to reassure her. But Mira had already grown numb to such sensory overload, from all the memories she was unable to let go of.
Afterwards, a robotic voice sounded in a much less comforting tone: "Neural Blockade Removal Test has commenced."
Then, everything went black for Mira.
Mira tugged her father's shirt, as he towered over her, looking down with teary eyes.
"Daddy, don't leave me..." she choked on her tears.
Her chest was weighed down by a heavy feeling of unease.
"I'm sorry, Mira. Your mother and I can't be together anymore."
Mira dropped to her knees. There was no more hope for her to have a normal family, and live a normal life.
That's all she ever wanted.
She turned her head to see a shattered picture frame. Inside was a family portrait of her and her parents, with such priceless smiles.
Mira was sitting at her desk at her school, digging her fingernails in the bite marks of her pencil.
Just one more day... Then, maybe I could find friends at the special school... she thought to herself.
"Hey, have you heard that Mira's transferring to some super nerd school?"
"Yeah, she totally belongs there! Weirdo!"
"I mean, it's true she can't really fit in with the rest of us..."
Mira felt a piercing shock through her head, and she partially awoke from her trance. Upon remembering what she experienced a few moments ago, her face tensed up and her eyes moistened.
But something interrupted her thought.
Voices came from the observation lab above her.
"What's going on? The test hasn't been completed yet!"
"The system's been hacked!"
"The hacker... he's saying something!"
"To the staff in this room, you have a choice. Halt the test, disable all encryption in your system, and your database will be spared. Otherwise, I will delete all the data on Mira from the past 12 years. You wouldn't want that, now would you?" A disguised voice sounded from the speakers in the room.
Mira opened her eyes to find the room in a blue hue of darkness.
"Okay, okay! I'll do what you asked! Just... please don't touch the database!" a scientist pleaded.
Those scientists are such cowards, Mira thought.
"Good, good... I know how important that data is to you," The same dry, mechanical voice replied, contempt seeping through the voice changer.
But the voice continued.
"Now, Mira. Mira Pastore. Listen to me."
"I know everything about you. Everything those wretched scientists did to you."
"And I know you remember all the tragedies life has thrown at you. You try to put them at the back of your mind but you know they will haunt you for eternity. So your deepest wish is for your ability to go away. And you resent these scientists for making you remember that you can never, ever be a normal girl."
Mira tensed up. This person knew.
She felt strangely comforted by the fact that somebody understood.
The scientists above her were silent.
"Who are you?!" Mira could feel her heart beating faster and faster.
"I am known as [Nemesis]. Sound familiar?"
[Nemesis]... I've heard this name before...
Sometime in my distant past... Mira tried searching for that memory.
I can't... It's like, something is blocking my mind! What's happening?
"Hahaha... I expected that reaction from you, Mira. I know you tried to remember me. But I blocked your neurons with the system. Now you know what I can really do."
"Anyway, I come today to make you an offer. With the device you are on right now, I can take away your ability to remember. Or, rather, your inability to forget. You can let go of the memories you don't want anymore. And you can live a normal life, make friends, and be happy..."
"Or you can choose to continue with your current ability. You will continue to be haunted by pain, by your parents' separation, by your constant loneliness... And you will have to find the strength to overcome it."
"It is up to you whether you want me to conduct this procedure. Take your time to think about it. Whenever you are ready, dear Mira, just give me an answer."
"Mira! Don't do it! This is a criminal! He's lying to you!" A voice above her cried.
Mira was enticed by the voice's offer. She knew, deep down, what she wanted. Her lifetime wish would be granted to her. The thought made her show a small grin.
I really really wanna do it.
But, all the darkest of days made her grow stronger, and more immune to every sharp stab life would throw at her.