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Message to Readers
Please tell me what improvements I can make! I'll publish the other chapters of the story soon so it'll make more sense :)
Royal stories are intriguing to me naturally because there's so much possibility. The protagonist's confusion is also a great hook, because then the reader wants to know what the mix-up is.
Orion's confusion and awe of her new surroundings are well done. She makes mistakes but also is confident that her parents will return, whatever happened to them,
I'm not sure. I don't know where you're at with word count, but I think that the beginning dialogue could be cut with no loss to the story (the confusion about the palace name).
I know it's at a grand palace, but I actually don;t know what the palace looks like from the outside. However, the inside is clearly described and beautifully done. The sounds and the people and the driveway details all give me good picture.
Not sure about the weather, but that's not terribly important for this story. Overall, great setting details. The palace sounds lovely.
Keep writing because you have a gift! Just the fact that you're here means you have a passion for writing! This story drew me in. Although royal family stories might sound overdone, there's such a world of options that you can do anything with this story.
I'm also intrigued by Amelia and her story. What's she hiding? Her three kids also will prove important, I'm sure. Liam and Melina especially interest me.
Keep at it!
I love the intrigue and drama!