Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
*changed title for now; also, any ideas for the bookstore name? I threw in "Books for the Soul" at the last minute because BOOKSTORE NAME interrupted the flow. XD
I'll cut more eventually, but I just wanted to publish it for now. I'll also release another excerpt of a different section so you guys can help me decide which to submit. This piece starts from the beginning. It's chapter 1 of part 1.
Review for Review!
The strange hunger for books of the protagonist Tag. It is something that people can somewhat understand, yet are still confused by, and makes one want to read more to fully understand Tag's experiences.
The age gap between the friends Tag and Brooks is interesting. I feel like many authors give their character the stereotypical two to three friends in the same age and year at school, so this makes it seem believable. It would be good to know what Tag enjoys aside from when he has the hunger for books, hobbies? Favorite book? What does he do on the weekends? These could of course come up in due course.
Some dialogue around the character Margret's experiences in traveling would be an interesting addition. Finding out what exactly it was that Brooks thought Tag needed to know, Life advice? Romance tips? History? Would probably be good as well.
Hearing more description of where Tag was at the start of the excerpt would be good. We feel his emotions, but if we knew what he was feeling or seeing or what aromas were around would add to it. The description of the book shop could also be added to.
This was a very good and interesting story. I am intrigued to know more, as well as amazed by the world-building and how real the characters feel. Keep working at it, keep writing (of course) and you could really go somewhere with this - or just writing in general.