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Message to Readers


tan girl/white girl (4)

November 4, 2020


 To be honest, I don't understand Wuthering Heihgts; the classics, like they call them, are so boring. The language is old timey, and i have to read pages over and over just to understand what they're saying. I hate reading, is what I'm trying to get at. Math is easier, since numbers are universal. They don't change from country to country, you know?
Anyways, I failed the vocab test that counted for half of the semester grade, and it was long as fuck.

I mean, words that I don't even know how to spell well, like unconfounded, expergfactor, jargogle (the only reason I spelled them right this time is 'cause I searched them up! They aren't exactly from the book, but still!)
I got a big fat zero, again. No surprise to anyone. During our lunch break in the middle of class, I tried to keep it altogether, but I could feel my lip quivering. 

"Ana? You good?" I shifted my gaze from my lunch tray to my best friend, Sigourney Carter. She's like..a siren, without you know, the fish tail. She's tall, slender, with a thin, angled face and these big, ice-blue eyes. She pulls at the skirt of her cheerleading outfit, but that doesn't stop the guys from staring at her. I don't mean just the seniors, I mean every boy. I don't really get stared at; I prefer it that way. I really don't know why I was taken in by the cheerleaders; I'm not that athletic..unless yoga counts? Maybe they're taking pity on me. I look over at the gaggle of long legged, acrylic-nailed girls sitting across from me and Sigourney and they don't even look up at their phones. 
"Yeah..I just..have to go to the bathroom." Probably the worst excuse I could make, but I rushed there as fast as I could, backpack in my arm. I ran into the giant handicapped stall and slunk to the floor. 
I'd had so much tutoring. Why couldn't I get this one thing...right? I'd studied, and they just wouldn't stick in my head. 
After about five minutes of quietly sobbing, The door creaked open, and I heard heavy breathing and footfalls. 
I pulled my knees closer to my chest and steadied my bottom lip. I could have a moment once this person left. 
But I was watching under the doorjamb, and I saw Sadie's white Doc Martens. I knew they were hers, 'cause she'd doodled on them with Sharpie. 
She knocked on my door.
"Hey, Ana. It's me."
I had to get up. I didn't want to, but I had to. I peeked out the door and saw the glare of her round glasses. 
"Another bad test score?" She hands me a paper towel.
"Yeah..English is a hellhole." I sniffle.
She smiles her beautiful, mango-slice smile and sets a hand on her curves. "You need some help?"
This, this was the time, we could try and fix our bond. "Y-yeah..I..I do."  I grabbed my bag from the ground and slung it over my shoulder. She wrapped an arm around me. "We can go to the library after class."
I felt my lips turn down in a frown. I hated the silence of the library, but if it was going to help me, why not?
I waited nervously and I think I flinched when the final bell rang. I met Sadie outside the cafeteria, and we headed upstairs to the library. It', the size of ten classrooms, with walls and walls of books. We find a comfy nook in a niche, and settle into some beanbag chairs. Sadie lets out a little sigh, and I know she's home. She puts her headphones over her ears and settles in.
"I..I thought we were..studying." I said. She opens a brow eye and glares at me. "I'm destressing." 
So, why not do the same? I settle in the hard leather fabric and go stiff. This..this isn't relaxing. 
"Hey, ladies." A pair of bright-red Keds show in my line of vision, and I look up. I'm met with the. smiling gaze of Quinn Hartley, my best friend..and crush. (God, now I'm really hoping Sadie won't go through this thing again). 
They push their thick rimmed glasses up their nose and blink their aqua colored eyes. A smile plays on their lips. 
"Nothin'. Just some reading." I look down at my backpack and feel a little cloud of shame. 
They raise their honey colored brows and run a hand through their soft curls. "Ana Morales? Reading? Are you high or something?"
I laugh, and its a little forced. I quickly shut my mouth and pause before opening it again. "I uh..failed another voacb test."
They frown. "Oh.." They pull at the wrinkled leg of their jeans. "That sucks..sorry to press."
"No, no, it's fine." 
They shift the straps of their backpack and grin. "Do ya..maybe wanna go to Starbucks and..get your mind off it with some coffee?"
Yes. Yes. That would be my dream. But I look back at my backpack, back at Sadie, and Quinn. 
"I..I can't. I really need to study." 
They nod, give me a wave, and turn on their heel. 
This is for the better, right? I sure hope it is.



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  • November 4, 2020 - 7:44am (Now Viewing)

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  • anemoia (#words)

    i see you pulled a character from the other son... actually, ana is also the name you used. and sadie from kane chronicles! <3

    6 months ago
  • mirkat

    ooh yay cant wait for more! <3

    6 months ago