BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

Australia

Hi!
I exist. I think? :3
Previously WinterWolf(#holidayvibes)
Can you guess how old I am?
Have a wonderful day. :)
Joined August 21 2020!!! :)

Message from Writer

Go check out my wolf sister ava09

Ok...Can I just thank every one of the people on this site. I just want to give everyone a hug and thankyou for supporting me through everything!!!

”If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz

“Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it, sauté it, whatever. MAKE.” – Joss Whedon

“People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.” – Unknown

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” – Kurt Cobain

"The universe takes care of all its birds" - In Wonder by R.J. Palacio

I'm not here to judge anyone. If anyone wants a listening ear I am here for you.

Fly with the Angels

November 16, 2020

"A n g e l i c a"
A hiss of thinly veiled contempt and spit greeted the ... figure.

"Demon child. There is a new experiment."
He sniffed with an air of uncontrolled snobbery at her unresponsive body. Hunched broken body sitting in the shadowy corner of the closet sized room, she ignored him.

"THERE IS A NEW EXPERIMENT!"
He barked. His patience was gone. He shook slightly. Uneasily wobbling outside the doorway. His lip pouted, and eyes widened. Wrinkles engraved into his brow as the girl started to convulse wildly.

His stack of untidily balanced charts fell crashing from his hands as he repeatedly moved his hand. From forehead to chest then from left to his right shoulder. His white lab coat swished around his trembling legs. He slammed the door shut and clutched his golden cross with conviction. The emblem bit into his skin. He muttered prayers underneath his breath as he fled down the shadowy corridor.

She glared at the wall. She Heard the iron door slam and the echo sound. Her body twitched and shuddered uncontrollably. Flailing limbs flew through the air. Her bones rattled against the unwashed floor. She didn't feel the presence of another being. She felt dazed and cold. But alone. When it finally subsided, she looked through her bedraggled unwashed hair to the mold menacingly creeping down the dark wall. Her rags scratched her skin that sweat buckets even in the coldest of winters. Grave lines of dirt and trauma gathered on her young face. She grimly scowled and re-lived her darkest moments.

"Ciao papà" The cheeky grin of a four-year-old was a million times brighter than the sun. Her blonde hair swung in pigtails that her mother plaited. While she sung sweet melodies to her only child. It had wriggled out of hair ties in delicate whisps dangling round her innocent face. 

He stumbled backwards. Hands falling out to catch his tilting body. He clung to her delicate shoulders whispering prayers and holy words. Her tremors seemed to pull the dark clouds over the meadow. Her eyes flashed back still and vacant.

"Lucifer! Leave my daughter's soul alone!"
He raved and ranted his voice becoming hoarse and scratchy.


The hardback book slapped her.

"It will force the devil out soon."
He was swathered in white robes draped with holy fabrics. His eyes had wrinkles collecting around them as it was a magnet. He offered endless reassurances his voice slippery and her parents grimaced as his oily voice met their ears. Her outstretched hands reached for her parents, but they turned their backs with wet cheeks and pale faces.

The bible wasn't the only thing that left its mark on her skin that day.


She was jolted into her weakly stitched reality by cold fingernails penetrating her skin as she was dragged down a familiar corridor. Her eyes flicked up, and her hatred burrowed deep into their flesh as they took her to try and cure her. 

They starved her. They limited her oxygen. They treated her like cattle. She hated them with the passion of one who had suffered.

"Possessed?"
A haunting voice uttered into the brick unsterilized room.
"Yes sir"
The timid voice of a nurse answered back. The nurse was clutching a cross like a lifeline.
"Let's begin."
The screams shook the building.


Her cell door opened. Bleary eyes unfocused as the pain of the newest treatments poisoned her soul.

"Miss Amadeo?"

She was done. She retreated into her safe space.

She still smelt the freshness of the green grass.  She still felt her father's strong arms lift her up to the sky. She felt safe. 

She looked up with sorrow and despair lodged into her eyes. Her head rested on a lap as her hair was gently caressed by a pitiful eyed woman.

"Angelica."

The woman had a gentle voice, and no spit exited her mouth. Angelica was glad. She gazed into the eyes of the wise woman and silently listened.

"You have the seizures."

That didn't mean anything to Angelica. It was just a new way to classify her. Another way to justify their experiments. She shrank away in disappointment and anger.  She was the specimen. She was worthless. The woman gathered her into her arms and squeezed gently. A warm hug enveloped Angelica. She felt bewildered and scrambled to be released.

"Someone wants to meet you. You will be safe darling."

Her smile felt so warm she almost felt like smiling back. But her distrust prevailed, and she turned her head away. She almost felt woozy. The woman's voice was so intoxicating she was already addicted.

"Poor little soul. What have they done to you?""

Pity tiptoed back into her voice. At the small figure. The woman's hands gripped her shoulders tighter as to hide her from the world.

"I am the Devil child."
Angelica's voice shook having not been used for so long. She twirled her dirt clotted hair around her finger as she spoke. Her brown eyes burned into the woman's blue ones. Squinting as if looking for something. She found the darting eyes of the woman refused to meet hers. But Angelica didn't care anymore.

"No you are a child of God but..."
She paused for breath her eyes calming moving as if the rest of her sentence was hiding in the shadows.

"But you have is the seizures. It makes you shake and can be quite scary but it's because you brain is a bit different."
Her voice was a bright but Angelica could hear the disgust hidden in the woman's voice at how they treated her.

The woman had a cross too. Golden and hanging innocently on her neck. Angelica reached up and touched it fingers brushing the shining symbol.

Her hand slipped down limp by her side. The woman gently swept Angelica's eyes shut.

"God's child."

Angelica whispered as the woman slid out the knife from her back. The woman tenderly murmured,

"Now you can fly with the angels."
This piece is quite personal as I had epilepsy and I wanted to have a character that had it as well. I wanted to explore the life of someone with epilepsy in the 1920s where there were asylums and wanted to explore how people thought they were possessed or the devil. I feel lucky to be born at a time where there are treatments and I am sad that so many people were outcasted because of epilepsy. I know the ending is a bit controversial but I wanted to explore that the woman might think this is a mercy to Angelica.

References:

https://www.hindawi.com/journals/ert/2014/582039/

https://www.nursing.upenn.edu/nhhc/nurses-institutions-caring/history-of-psychiatric-hospitals/

https://allthatsinteresting.com/mental-asylums#42

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/psychological-power-satan/

https://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2017/09/13/from-left-to-right-or-from-right-to-left-the-sign-of-the-cross/

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/19sogc/i_was_a_security_guard_at_a_mental_institution/

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16 Comments
  • BriRiley

    Writing a review rn! (P.s good job!)


    6 months ago
  • Starting Anew! (still Coolgirl though)

    Awesome job! Just reviewed it! ^-^


    7 months ago
  • Emi

    Wow, this is such a beautiful story. Really sad at the end though...I had to reread it like three times to get it through my head.
    RE: thank you! I'm really hoping to go to the university that gave me the scholarship, but there's still a decent chunk of change I'd have to pay to attend. I'm praying it all works out.


    9 months ago
  • Rose A

    Wow. Bone-chilling yet stunning. Well done! :)


    10 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Re: omg!! Thank you sooo much!! You’re so sweet and kind!! Thank you!! :)


    10 months ago
  • bookmagic

    Re: Thanks so much for your comment. I'm breaking down right now and I really needed it. I hat covid and I hate online learning. This is really good by the way.


    10 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Re: Thank you soo much for your comment! That excerpt was from a novel that I've been writing for "quite" a while. I return to it only when I feel like it, so yeah, there's no constant progress. But if you want, I'll let you know when and if (big if) I finish any chapters. :)


    10 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Re: thank you sooo much!! :)


    10 months ago
  • JustAnotherDarling

    you've written this harrowing tale with such care; it's beautiful :)


    10 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Re: thank you soo much!! :)


    10 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Omg another piece!! This is awesome!! It’s so beautiful and amazing!! Wow!! :)
    Also I mentioned this piece in my other draft because it was so good!! :)


    10 months ago
  • Halopoet

    Re: aww thanks


    10 months ago
  • mystifiedtulip

    Re: No problem! And thanks for your comment on my piece!


    10 months ago
  • lochnessie

    wow - this is chilling.
    re: thank you <3


    10 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Wow this is a really great piece!!! I admire the fact that you were able to explore something so personal through a heartbreaking yet chillingly beautiful story. You should be proud of yourself for taking up a challenge like this. I love how the name 'Angelica' is given ironic value in your setting and the ending works out well. It's simply stunning!


    10 months ago
  • mystifiedtulip

    I......love this.......<333

    So glad you're okay....;)))


    10 months ago