Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The second sentence, mostly. The way Kai connects her experience to others, never thinking it would actually happen. And then, when she says that lost things are never found on Christmas Island. That's absolutely heartbreaking. And foreshadowing, it seems.
You made Kai feel real in her emotions, especially dealing with her mother. The interaction with her mother was the most vivid look into Kai's head and heart. The juxtaposition of Kai's thoughts versus her mother's words brought her to life.
I want to know where/who Kai's father is. When they moved to Christmas Island. What her past is like. (Not necessarily in this excerpt, but in general.)
I don't think so...
Yes. First, you state the name. It feels dark and gloomy right off. The trees detail was marvelous. The waves and birds really make it feel like an island. It seems like relatively modern day; definitely within the past 40 years or so. The sounds and the imagery all around bring Christmas Island to life.
PLEASE KEEP WRITING. Not just because I love this story, but because you've clearly dedicated your time and yourself to this story. If you love it, keep writing. And write because you want to, not to please others. Keep writing because you have a gift for making stories flow and words sing.
I want to repeat this: Keep writing because you have a gift for making stories flow and words sing.
Also, I'm curious about Harry! He sounds so interesting and steady and dependable and normal and genuine.
And remember, these are only suggestions that are from one person's perspective that should never alter the fundamentals of your story or what you hope to accomplish/say.
Best of luck!