sandwich_31

United Kingdom

<3 trying <3

Message to Readers

Constructive criticism please! I'm very new to writing and I'm also still young, so please if you have any helpful advice or you want to tell me it's horrid please word it in a nice way! Thank you :)

On The Thrones Of The Surrounding Kingdoms

November 3, 2020

The bright glow of the sun washed over the crowds of people, crowds of people making an eager buzz of songs and shouts in a courtyard that looked as though it was built for mother nature to climb on and nothing more. The sun looked on proudly from up in the sky, for even she was delighted to be able to see this event, and so Lady Sun bathed the entire kingdom of Flos Oxford in a sparkling shimmer of sunshine. Everybody in the crowd was delighted to be here, their smiles and laughter competing with the brightness of Lady Sun herself. 
 
The sea of bright colours and smiles was gathered in the courtyard of a magnificent castle, drowned in greenery and flowers, with emerald ivy creeping up every single brick wall like an unexpected but welcomed guest, and budding flowers, blooming under Lady Sun, tucked into every windowsill and nook the eye can see, fighting each other for the attention of said eye, stretching to new heights and new hues. 
 
Two cheery yellow doors with large, floral wreaths featuring manys a daisies and other complimenting blossoms, stood tall in front of a wooden stage. This stage was surrounded by our sea of bright colours and smiles. It held a microphone and a stool, along with a few moss-bedded benches, and trees and bushes covered in considerable amounts of vines, flowers and bumblebees. Above the stage was a balcony hanging two flags of Flos Oxford, flapping lightly in the bashful breeze, displaying the grand design of the kingdom’s darling, a daisy.
 
The sea of bright colours and smiles hummed with anticipation, getting antsy. Lady Sun, the flowers, hell even the bumblebees, could tell they were waiting for something. Or rather, someone. That someone however, was dashed away inside the castle walls, ignoring the calls of her advisors and citizens to instead wreck conscious chaos with a dishevelled boy in red. The pair were running rapidly around the halls, footsteps soft and muted as their shoes had been hastily flung off and away behind them in order to keep their journey and destination hidden. 
 
But what is their destination? 
 
Neither of the pair could tell you, as far as they were concerned, their only mission is to swiftly sneak across the crowded castle corridors and avoid the scouring eyes of their advisors and governors, who today were fundamentally babysitters. 
 
The doors to the spacious dining room were wide open, letting fresh air, bumblebees and staff float in and out, preparing the space for the elating event of the later evening. Unfortunately for our pair of scoundrels, this abundance of staff made it all the more difficult to steal any sweet treats that were laying unattended. 
 
But they were not the type to end a mission unsuccessfully, especially when the rewards were so divine. 
 
“What if someone sees us?” The girl’s whisper was rushed and harsh, her worry ingrained clearly in not only her voice but her face. “Don’t worry Deesja, it’ll be fine,” the boy in red was smirking and self-assured, his careless, contentious attitude providing enough bravery for the both of them.
 
A hand snapped out from under the tablecloth, and a heavy slap on fabric followed it suspiciously. “Nahau! Nahau no! My god, are you even trying to be subtle?” Deesja’s scolding fell on smug but deaf ears, and Nahau’s hearty laugh drowned out and forced any and all of Deesja’s nerves to stash away, gossiping about possible consequences behind her back. “No, no it’s fine,” the hearty laugh turned into a mumble accompanied by giddy giggles when Nahau snapped back into their mission, “It’s fine, it’s- look, just have confidence like me! I have confidence!” Deesja rolled her eyes as she pulled her dress train out from under Nahau’s knee, which he didn’t realise was even there, with enough aggression that it should have ripped, but the dress fabric knew better than to do that.
 
“Of course you’re confident. You’re a narcissist.”
 
“Well yes- Wait hold on, no! No no! I- I am not a narcissist! Am I? Well- No!”
 
Deesja hummed while gently fidgeting with a beautiful baby bumblebee that had found its way under the tablecloth and to her gown, expertly embellished in an abundance of blossoms. “What do you think of this little guy?” Nahau raised an eyebrow, a grin spreading across his face crinkling up his eyes, as he placed his head on his knee to get a satisfying study of the new bumblebee friend. “They seem nice. A busy baby bee just doing their job, unlike us,” Deesja smiled softly at the little jab, everyone in the castle, even their new bumblebee friend, knew they were avoiding their duties. He continued, “they deserve a name I think.” 
 
Deesja piped up first, causing the bumbling bee to jostle on their yellow sunflower attached to her dress.
 
“Kiki!”
 
“Absolutely not.”
 
“Bandma?”
 
“No-no! Are we even looking at the same bee? How about Ditzen?”
 
“That’s the name of your horse. And your old horse, the one that’s dead now. You can’t name everything Ditzen!”
 
“Whatever. You know- Dee you clearly don’t have any good taste.”
 
“I’m not the one who named three- No, four horses the same thing!”
 
“No, I wish Boto were here. They’re very good at naming things.”
 
“Yes, and Boto would tell you that Ditzin is not an acceptable name,”
 
“No they wouldn’t, they like me, I’m their friend. You know I-”
 
Nahau slammed his mouth shut, as a knock came from atop the table above them. Deesja and Nahau glared at each other with jittery eyes, silently communicating to the other to deal with this major flaw in their mission themselves. Even their unnamed bumbly baby bumblebee seemed to sense the apprehension, and they floated away, deciding that this was not their issue. The nerves in Deesja’s head revealed themselves from the darkest corners and crannies of her mind, ranting and raving about every mistake that could happen from this one knock.
 
 
This is an excerpt from Chapter One- The Bloom Of The Daisy Queen, which introduces our bright and colourful world, and two of the main characters. Apologies if it's not very good, this is my first ever attempt at a novel, and I hope anyone has any comments or constructive criticism! 

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