~madeline~

United States

euphoria fashioned from stanzas of

disillusionment

est. 8.19.20

Message to Readers

Love ya'll <3 :)

Undefined Value

November 6, 2020

FREE WRITING

7

    and still I ask those questions of myself.
who am you? what are you? what are you worth? anything at all? 
    i will not know/cannot know.
    i am solely the being/that i know by my own name.
whether that being/is worth anything/nothing/or the world/i cannot tell.
         once someone told me that you the value you put in something is how much it is worth.
          does that mean my worth is in how i see myself/or is my worth in the value others see in me? 
but does that mean my value changes? that would mean the value of each life is sold in a different currency.
                whatever rings true about my worth, i will remain as a phantom brain contemplating/everything. 
    
    and still I ask those questions of myself.
what is valuable? what is true? what is one moment worth? same as all the rest?
   i do not know/how can i know?
   for  am so utterly broken/so utterly lost/so utterly human.
but value must exists beyond the surface/and my values wax/and wane/with each moment.
        all i know is that there is value in life/laughter/love.
        and a different value lies in pride/selfishness/fame
if only laughter was a valid currency/but would i be rich?
            or maybe i should try to pay with the tears that are shed in my loneliness. 

    and still i ask myself these questions. 
what is value? what is life? how is a life valued? what is the value of your life?
    and still i don't know. 
    is still cannot know/will not know.
i am still broken. 
        value is a fulfilled purpose/life a broken promise
        and the value of life/is in the eye of the beholder.
but who is the beholder that values my life?
            it must be a being i cannot comprehend/for i am only capable of having one/worth
            and humans/are blessedly varied/they see me in so many ways.

    and still i ask myself these questions
but answers are temptingly near. 
    life is valued in a currency/called love.
    a currency in which my life/good/and/bad/has been already payed for.
and the value payed was unthinkable/that of a life willingly given
        and in the eyes of my beholder/we are given a new chance
        and in the eyes of my beholder/i am loved

    and still i ask myself these questions
why am i trying to value something/that has already/been/payed for?
    why am i trying to guess the price of the gift/the one i have been given?
    and why are treading the same path/grasping for the same values?
i am trying to learn how to accept/the gift of life.
        maybe you should try with me.
        someone once told me/that/i am beautifully/and wonderfully/made.
you are too.

                and in the eyes of our beholder/we are loved.
    
I'll leave this up to you to translate. I just want you to know, that you are beautiful, and amazing and talented and whatever you do, you are loved!!
 ~Madeline <3

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  • November 6, 2020 - 9:40pm (Now Viewing)

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8 Comments
  • crystalline•galaxies

    the repetition at the beginning of each stanza works so well in this piece. i also love how you left it up to the reader's interpretation as to what they want it to mean.
    re: your comment was so very kind! it meant a lot. thank you ever so much.


    6 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Oh this was so beautiful! And the message here is just perfect!


    6 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    This is amazing and so beautiful!! :)
    Wow, just wow!!


    6 months ago
  • mirkat

    format, language, flow.... all beautiful! i love the repetition and the juxtaposition. these lines i relate to the most: "whether that being/is worth anything/nothing/or the world/i cannot tell." amazing! <3<3<3


    6 months ago
  • doodleninja

    re: of course! Welcome to the Tropies! XD


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    I watched one of the HG movies today too! Have you seen them yet?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Re: aw, thank you! That sounds fun though! Mine is December 18th. I’ve been busy too. School, writing, my puppy, a Girl Scout project, horseback riding...... I’m tired! XD


    6 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    this is BEAUTIFUL. I absolutely love the message, and your word choice is wonderful. The formatting really adds to the poem. Really nice job! wow, i'm gonna go read this again!!! :)


    6 months ago