sybilluv

United States

they/them
environmental studies/journalism
i don't know why i made this account.
if you know who i am then keep quiet

i hope high school treats you well

November 2, 2020

FREE WRITING

12

the words scream endlessly, tirelessly, ceaselessly
remaining in my brain in my main state of pain
holding, hoarding, balance abhorring - the horror
tore her away from my eyes and the blindness -
kindness, what is kindness? god, i wish it was 
mindless - an action taken without thought, caught
up in the motion - a continuous explosion of color
thrown into the gutter - my imagination flutters
like a camera shutter - blinking too fast, too fast

"you're too rash," words uttered, a mutter too 
quick to grab - a flame flickers to cut her to shreds
paper shredder, "it could've been better," and a
tear falls - was that my cheek or yours? of course,
hypothetically i summon a smile, magic and bile
force it deep down - deep down, turn the frown
upside-down and slay the demon of depression
impression, impressionistic, i'm not pathetic
"just forget it," the words are warbled and i

speak

but the words are free like birds, the sobbing assured
internally i fall to my knees and screech like those 
crickets i used to hear when i was younger - brother,
when did i get so soft, emotions aloft and i - i

i stare blankly at the white canvas in front of me and
raise my hand. miss mannequin ma'am's neck creaks
as she snaps her neck to stare at me, and her marionette
earrings click and click and clack against her bright
birch face.

somebody destroyed my canvas, ma'am, i say, voice shaking
but i'm hiding the knife behind my back and the matches 
are hidden in my desk compartment - i can't bring myself
to tell her that i just wanted her to look at me, and
she mutters a "hopeless," with a clickety-clackety of her
wooden george washington teeth, and i smile something 
crooked, because all i wanted was just a taste of
attention.
11/2/20

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  • November 2, 2020 - 1:56pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • sunny.v

    those are not! tears in my eyes! there are undoubtedly so many pieces i’ve read that have moved me, but very, very few make me just. stop. and tear up. “what is kindness? god, i wish it was
    mindless” and i could do nothing but just *feel* this piece. i adore this. thank you ever so much for writing it. the days have been kinda too long and dark, but honestly, this piece was a little flash of light in a hard week :’) <3


    6 months ago
  • jun lei

    holy fucking shit. istg i can't even. i smiled so hard bc i missed reading your poetry sm and damn if this isn't goddamn gorgeous. i adore your style, your usage of language is so lovely, and the alliteration is stunning, but it's the rhythm and slant rhyme that i'm just falling in love with. you are so fucking talented and i am so fucking honored to read this and i'm going to get banned bc i'm cursing too much but you've moved me to incoherence. god, i just--your poetry. is everything.


    6 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    Woah wow, this piece is fullllll of talent.


    6 months ago
  • dee’s abditory

    dang dude you sure can write. this is incredible


    6 months ago
  • dead account

    i'm gonna review this when i have the chance. there's more to unpack about this piece than i first thought.


    6 months ago