KimFarahYoung

Australia

Message to Readers

I'd like to know your opinion... any positives or negatives

Shin-rin Yoku

November 2, 2020

FREE WRITING

2
Pulled out my t-shirt
Slipped it over my head
Got a coat
Put it over my shoulder
Picked up my shoes
Slid my feet in
Snatched a scarf
Wrapped it around my neck
Brought a beanie
Slip it on my head
Opened the door
And walked out
I walked on the grassy ground
And watched the tall trees
Leaves that drop
Birds that chirp
But soon the sun went down
And I returned home
Slipped into bed
And about the forest I dreamt
Rewritten from my Allpoetry Account
https://allpoetry.com/poem/15526120-Shin-rin-Yoku-by-KimFarahYoung?c=1171286801

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  • November 2, 2020 - 9:12am (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • dead account

    it's almost like this poem has a rythym to it, like it would make a nice little dity.
    so cool.
    -minty leaf


    11 months ago
  • Huba Huba

    I love this piece! The title brings out a lot about it, and I just had to google it!
    What I was thinking for improvement though, I thought that you should talk more about what happens during the forest walk, as I felt as if most of it was about getting ready, and suddenly you're leaving! That would be more concentrated on the main idea, though you could totally disagree it's okay!
    I also see that you're new here, so welcome to WtW! It's a very positive writing community here, and I hope you stay! Not only do I encourage you to publish more of your pieces, I'd encourage you to read others' pieces, as there is a lot of talent in this place :)


    11 months ago