be wary of walking into her room when she's watching betty la fea or la dinastía; she'll shush you so intensely that you'll be blown to the other end of the Earth. when you lose something, you get a silver tongue lashing the size of panama, in Spanish - mind you. refrain from getting anything less than an eighty on a math test or she'll ask jesús to give her paciencia - patience with her children, specifically. she'll quiz you on the conjugation of the 20,000 different verbs Spanish has to offer, and in the past tense, too. she clucks her tongue when you can't get the accent just right.
"you sound like boston people." she says. "not very pretty in a lady."
you take it all to heart, because no one gets past la madré without her long manicured finger pointing out some sort of injustice.