Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Really would love some feedback. Have a pop at me, go on :)
I really like how you made it all one sentence. It's a little hard to read, but I like it because usually a train of thought isn't complete sentences, it's just a bunch of points bouncing off each other.
I've mentioned this in a highlight, but who is Beth? Who's Ollie? What makes them so important in your life? Basically, you did so well describing your mom, just go into a little more detail with other things.
This is great! And welcome to WtW!