mirkat

United States

she/her│infp-a
est. 10/15/20

"take me with you, finished thing"
"too dizzying to love anywhere
but from a distance"

have an ineffable day!

<3<3<3

Message to Readers

what do you think when you read this? plz comment! anything i could improve on? also plz plz plz read the first part if you haven't already! <3 part iii. coming out when i get my act together (so either tomorrow or never...)

these altered truths ii. -- afraid

November 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

24

m e  t  a  l  l  i  c
blood   
            s
                p
                    i
                        l
                            l
                                s
                    from my open mouth
the crimson mixes
                           with the lies i have told
                           and the people i have pretended to be
sour bile
       builds up in my throat
                                            i can't go on much longer...
                                       stop, wait...
                                   i need to see...

       me

i know, i know
you don't think i haven't been trying?

but then... the -- the demons-- they'll be unleashed

my soul will be ripped
                                open
                                        for the whole world to see
and i swear-- it will
                              not be pretty

tell me, how can i pretend
                          and lie
                          and go on
             without knowing who or what or why i am?

but i do
i keep going even though
i'm still searching

and i'm
            afraid
            afraid of the demons,
but most of all i'm
afraid that 

no
   shadow
              or echo
                          or truth of what i am will remain and I'll just
                                                                                      

fade...



 
just curious.... what do you guys see when you read this?

also please check out part one of these altered truths! anyway. anyway. hope all y'all like it! keep up that writing! <3 <3 <3

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23 Comments
  • JustAnotherDarling

    I actually imagined blooding pouring out of someone's mouth and then it turns into a visual of all the lies the person has ever told - I know that's sorta gross, but I was captivated nonetheless :) And the ending, about being afraid of fading - I think you actually pierced my soul with that last bit because YES, I FELT THAT!
    Re: ohmygosh, I must seriously apologize for the Extremely late reply! I hope you're well <3
    So this past weekend, I listened to a bunch more Dodie songs, and I must say - Sick of Losing Soulmates is my favorite. The lyrics and the melody mix in this tantalizing way and wraps around me and I Love it!
    also, I 200% agree with the way you described suburbia: toxic nice. I literally screamed out loud when I read that because it resonated with me...it's the perfect explanation. Because suburbia is great...until the nice gets overwhelming lol


    6 months ago
  • Jasmine khawar

    Do you know that, YOU'RE SO TALENTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    6 months ago
  • colorwheel

    Re: sorry I just saw your comment on my new post as well and just wanted to say thank you again and it's so awesome how music can add a whole new meaning to something!


    6 months ago
  • colorwheel

    Re: Thank you so much!! Those are characters I've written. Haha weird is good! Also you're a super talented poet!


    6 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    also, i just love your ideas! wowowow is what i have to say about all of this! and your writing is just so lovely! thanks for all the convos and feedback


    6 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    ahhhh this was so chilling and raw and lovely and i felt like someone was whispering down my soul. the thing about your soul being ripped open for the whole world to see and it will not be pretty. and it reminds us how much we all hide.


    6 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: haha yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy


    6 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    oooooooh this is awesome!!!! I love this so so so so much!!!!!!! This is gonna be an awesome series, I know it already ;)
    With this, I saw a person (could have been any gender) who was huddled in a little ball on the floor, cowering from... like, a mirror or something? who they have become?? idk that sounds super dramatic but... yeah i guess im just weird lol
    Can't wait to read more :D


    6 months ago
  • almost flora kane

    oh the near rhyme at the end with afraid and fade is so good. and the structure, omg. yes. i'm for this.


    6 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    This is astounding!! :)


    6 months ago
  • dream02

    Re: haha i mean, i need me a Caleb lol. I think ima call it Souls Freed cause of a coma part. It's basically told from 4 high school sophomores point of views, Caleb, Megan, Annabelle and Fern. Caleb is the sweet shy kinda nerdy musical guy who's new in town, Megan is the sweet gorgeous girl who everyone likes but doesnt see her own beauty and constantly believes she isn't good enough or a good enough person, Annabelle is the popular "happy spoiled rich girl" or at least everyone thinks so, but really she's depressed, her family is having money struggles, and her dad's a drunk and stuff, Fern is a lesbian girl who has a huge crush on her best friend who is no but has no idea how much fern likes her. And then it basically follows their paths and stuff. And haha I more meant me and the guy are but I'm glad we are friends!!


    6 months ago
  • dream02

    Re: haha yeah. We're gonna stay friends at least?


    6 months ago
  • dream02

    Idk why, I think of either an eating disorder gone very far, or mental health


    6 months ago
  • Lata.B

    I love the way you write these!! "my soul will be ripped
    open
    for the whole world to see"
    WOW!!!


    6 months ago
  • mia_:)

    hi!! thank you so much for your sweet comment on my piece!! i am pretty inactive now, but it made my day! it's so nice to see someone else jewish around here :) welcome to wtw!! <3


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thanks, all are welcome!


    6 months ago
  • Deleted User

    I read this three times in a row and--well--I can't get enough of it!
    Beautiful work :)


    6 months ago
  • Chloe_Cat

    I love this so much! Personally, I read this as a monologue that I kill to perform with. Wonderfully done. I felt so much emotion and longing and helplessness, I can't even describe what reading this piece made me feel. Keep writing, you're magnificent,


    6 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    This is really well done. Thanks for writing it! I imagined the character in the Lord of the Rings named Wormtoungue who tells enough lies that the King he is telling them too becomes a different person.


    6 months ago
  • rwong

    woah this formatting—wait no all of your formatting is AMAZING!!!! <3 I love love love it!!
    i really dont wanna say the wrong thing, but i kinda see the silhouette of person's face?
    anyway good job and have an amazing dayy <3 :)


    6 months ago
  • LaurenBeeWrites

    This reminds me of Shatter Me with your metaphorical writing style and I love it. It its chilling! I think my own writing style leans into that to an extent but this is just beyond me. This is so thrilling and deep and it hits hard. Your writing is so so beautiful and it needs more recognition. This truly feels like it came from the heart, not just the head. Words are so powerful. The darkness of this is well contrasted with the airy flow it gives off as well as the beautiful physical arrangement of the words. Love this!


    6 months ago
  • Westley

    I see someone full of loss, reaching with a last hope for something to hold onto, something stable. Something that they will not find. A sorrow with underlying guilt wraps around their neck, choking away any final chance to speak truth. They will drown in their despair. (Sorry if this is dark, as the poem is a quite real feeling. I guess I'm just gloomy.)


    6 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    First off, good job. your work is always very descriptive. I'm a pretty visual person. I imagine someone, like, drowning in their desperation, choking on the lies they told.


    6 months ago