U S E R N A M E S (W R IT I NG HIA T US)

United States

Aspiring author from the U.S.
I'm 16 years old
I hope to publish my own novels, novellas, and manga one day.
Mostly on here to receive feedback on how well I'm doing in my writing journey! :)
INTP-T (Turbulent Logician)

Message to Readers

I would like any feedback/criticism you can offer, please!

A 'I Heard It Too' writing prompt entry

October 29, 2020

FREE WRITING

8

I frantically pushed the covers off my legs and jumped out of bed. 
The alarm clock seemed to stare blankly in my direction as I threw open the dresser drawers and pulled a t-shirt over my panicked body. I had one job my mind was racing and I blew it by oversleeping. While searching for deodorant I dared to
glance at my calendar and a dry, loud huff of annoyance flew from my chest. 

I threw open my room door to find the hallway and the kitchen lights intensely shining with the smell of a freshly cooked Christmas dinner covering the house. Well, there goes that, I thought, The only good thing I could’ve done for everyone before I left for college. Guilt made its’ home in me as I slowly slunk back into my room, turning the knob so as to not make any noise. I slumped onto my bed and my head hung low in a canyon of shame. The oven rang once alerting it was almost done. The cool of the air-conditioning seemed heavy and judgemental as I moped. Mom is going to be tired after cooking and she won’t be able to take uncle Vernie home, Cassie is gonna infringe on my rights as a living being until I
leave and Uncle Vernie’s Gonna go out somewhere and get drunk again. 


I picked up my phone, the soft blue light blanketed my face against the dim of my bedroom. I started to text my boyfriend what happened when I heard something. It was quiet, dull, and seemed to sputter and move directions in the walls. It was constant for about five seconds and then everything fell silent except for the sizzling of the pans from down the hall. I sat in the dim of my room unable to move by the onset of confusion I was experiencing. What was that? I wondered. A sliver of light from in between my blinds brightened and throbbed, shining a warm small line of light onto my cheek as if to assure me that everything was fine. I slowly made my way off the bed, opened my door, and peeked out. 

 -Silence-

Cassie must’ve kicked the walls in her sleep.
I walked next door to Cassie’s room. Her room door was wide open and her night light throbbed and jittered between being on and off. In the midst of Cassie’s room were a plethora of stuffed animals focused at the walls pressed against the baby bed guard huddled in an open circle. There was no sign of the seven-year-old. “Cassie?” I tried my best to whisper in hopes of not being heard by mom or waking Uncle Vernie. 

Nothing but the second shrill ring from the oven down the hall responded.
I stood frozen at Cassie’s door, my head filled with confusion.
What am I doing? 
The light that was cast from the hallway behind me faded out of view as I entered my sister’s room.
An ominous feeling continued to cripple me until it was too much. So, what if she’s not in her bed?
Logic screamed as I took another step, She has legs, she can walk out! Stop pretending this is what’s scaring you.

  
I bit back, angry that my emotions were being challenged by this outside thought.
 BUT IT IS WHAT’S SCARING ME! THIS IS MY SITUATION, I’M ALONE, I CAN’T TALK TO MY MOM, I...

My legs halted their entranced march, already having walked fully into the room, I was enveloped in darkness. I let out a small exhale of relief: logic had won out. I’ll be leaving for college soon, for ten years of my adolescent years I’ve acted like an irresponsible brat. My parents' haven’t been able to count on me since I was a child. 

 Once I’m at school, I won’t have anyone to turn to or call for help. Am I really feeling the heat of my situation today of all days? Confusion seemed to slowly seep from my body as I began to calm down, satisfied now that I had found the source of my fear and anxiety. I’m an adult, I don’t get scared of bumps in the day or night, I’ve found the eerie feeling from before, I can stop being a baby and go downstairs to apologize to-

-THUMP- 
I jumped with alarm. It had been silent during my emotional crises, but now the sound had started again, and sounded as if something heavy had been accidentally knocked over in Carissa’s closet. It’s just Carissa hiding in her closet, I reasoned with myself before walking towards the closet door. I placed my hand on the door handle ready to prove myself right, Like an adult always is. The oven rang its’ third and final bell. 

“Ava, are you awake?” A voice that sounded like my moms' sang from the kitchen. 
I cringed at myself for trying to fool myself, twice. 

 Can’t do it! Panic set in again.
Forgetting the reason for approaching it in the first place, I flung open the closet door, ready to take a running dive in. But before I could a moving figure at the back of the closet caught my eye.

It felt like I had all my soul sucked out multiple times before I could react.
Two shaking huddled figures sat in between a little tikes guitar and Princess camping set; the smaller of the two was apologizing quietly, had ginger hair, and was being cradled and comforted by the older one, who was the complete opposite of the younger one, with long white hair and dressed in blue work scrubs. Even in the dark, you could tell they were both fearful and crying. 

-BOOM-
The oven door was slammed "AVA, I KNOW YOU HEAR ME. GET DOWN HERE!"

My heart felt like it blew out my chest.
 
A squeak piped out of me “Cassie?” 

Cassie gave no response and buried her head further into mom’s chest. Mom whipped her head up from her cowering stance, Her chapped mouth whispering through her teeth.“Ava? Oh, my gosh, Ava!”  My mother let go of Carissa with one arm and reached for me. I pulled back out of confusion and fear “ But didn’t you just…” My mother nodded her head, still reaching for me with tears forming in her eyes “ I know, I know baby, I heard it too.”
 
Please let me know what you thought of this. I used the popular writing prompt/ Story "I heard it too". 
I don't own the writing prompt/concept. This is my version of the story(how I re-envisioned it, I do not claim ownership
of the prompt.) I used it because I had writer's block and wanted to use it to experiment with my writing style.
Thanks and God bless!

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8 Comments
  • Lata.B

    This is actully so good! I couldn't stop reading from the first word. Omg i- this was so so so chilling! AHH


    4 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    whoa... that was intense! chilling


    4 months ago
  • queenie

    re: aha no - it's more of a flash fiction piece. thanks..for getting scared?? i guess.


    6 months ago
  • mirkat

    woah, this thrilling to read.... amazing!!! wonderful imagery! keep writing! <3 <3 <3
    oh, and here are some tips that might help you out on wtw:
    1. to republish something w/o losing likes/comments go to manage versions and click options. then click unpublish. pick options again and click publish for peer review.
    2. when replying to comments, go to the persons most recent piece of writing and start writing in the comments with "re:" (means reply) and then your message.
    hope that helps and if you have any q's don't be afraid to ask!
    re: thanks for your comments! made my day! <3


    6 months ago
  • U S E R N A M E S (W R IT I NG HIA T US)

    @mystifiedtulip Thank You!!!


    7 months ago
  • mystifiedtulip

    Ooh! Super good story - I love everything about it! Keep writing! :D

    re: i'm glad that you can relate to this! :DDD


    7 months ago
  • U S E R N A M E S (W R IT I NG HIA T US)

    @Paisley Blue Thank you!


    7 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    OMG this freaked me out!!! wow!!! super good story!!!! you incorporated the emotions perfectly--and the ending sent chills down my spine!! Amazing job!! :) congrats, you just earned yourself a follower ;)


    7 months ago