Anlee

United States

16
she/her
ambivert
chinese american
cries, laughs, dreams
bops to classical, jazz, lofi, kpop
multi-fandomer but stray kids is my ult <3

active since July 2020

Message to Readers

I’m physically fine, but my home and community isn’t, so no. I’m not fine.

update: my high school has been fully demolished and a lot of my friends' houses are already gone. so many regrets linger
update 2: i may have to move again. i feel like took for granted the value of simply living in peace.

charred remains of my once beautiful home

October 26, 2020

PROMPT: Heart Places

15

i. I wake up to the howling wind. Strange. I’m a deep sleeper. Even my house creaks and budges. I’m not feeling so good.

ii. Smoke. Billowing, fiery vermilion clouds of gas erupt at the speed of light, the glow of impending doom visible from my window. I wonder if I’ll die, trapped within gas and fire. Perhaps this is how the people of Pompeii felt, although their deaths were immediate.

iii. Occasional sunlight glimpses behind the clouded skies but no warmth fills me up. The appearance of each ray only reminds me of the clock, a warning of our diminishing time. The fire is near. Tick tock. 

iv. We bustle around the house, packing what we deem essentials. Clothing, water, electronics, some money. Where’s my phone? Here here here. Oh my gosh there’s no room for the shoes. Hurry, get another bag.

v. Hop into the car, let's drive out of here. Dang, traffic right at the gate. Mom, I forgot the charger back home! Leave it.

vi. Cars honk each other angrily. We're all headed in one direction, the direction of away. Everyone wants to leave. I’m not sure if everyone will make it.

vii. There's so much soot. A person only needs to stand outside for a minute to be coated in a fresh layer of dust. My sister has asthma. The debris isn't doing any good to her lungs. My head is starting to hurt too. Probably a smoke infestation in my brains.

viii. My stomach is growling because we didn’t eat breakfast. I text “stay safe everyone” to my friends. Someone tells me they think they’re a goner. 

ix. My mind drifts off. We didn’t bring any photo collections of childhood me. Are they burning already? Are those memories reduced to mere dust? Insurance can't cover or repay souvenirs of my life. I wish my house was safe. There's not much hope.

x. It feels strange watching my city burst into flames on TV. Breaking news! Thousands of acres have been scorched. My high school is already blazing. Reporters bravely stand in the ruins of what once was my community, the vicious wind threatening to topple them over. I’m witnessing the cremation of my origins and home.

xi. It hurts.
Heart places: I miss my home

It's been about 4 hours since we left our house. I was planning on finishing+publishing my weekly wtw piece today but there was the unexpected Silverado fire. Given the immediate evacuation order, I didn’t have much time to pack things and leave, and I’m still feeling shaky because reality hasn't fully hit me yet. I don't think I want to accept this. So the piece I had wanted to finish might be delayed a little. To all my fellow people who had to evacuate, stay safe.

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  • October 26, 2020 - 7:15pm (Now Viewing)

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17 Comments
  • Elizabeth Lewis

    I'm so sorry! That must have been so scary! I'm praying for you and your family! Stay safe! God loves you!
    "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16: 33)


    11 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Oh, dear I'm so sorry! I know what it's like to leave a place you've grown to really love, so... I feel you! If you need anything, just ask. *Sending love*
    Stay safe. And stay hope-filled :)


    11 months ago
  • Rose A

    Re: Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad you liked my poem. This is such a beautiful and sad piece. I'm sorry something so scary had to happen to you. I feel awful. Remember, your WtW friends are here for you! Stay safe.


    11 months ago
  • katnissromanoff

    Oh my gosh I am so sorry. I wish the best for you and your family. That must be unbelievably difficult. I can't even imagine that and, wow, I just am so sorry you had to go through that. Your piece is so detailed and well-written and makes it all the more tragic to read about.

    Re: Thanks so much!


    11 months ago
  • Abrianna

    Re: Thanks so much, Anlee! I like your profile pic, those things are amazing.:)


    11 months ago
  • rwong

    i'm so so sorry!! i wish there was something i could do <3 please stay safe and look after yourself. sending hugs and prayers <33 stay strong. all the best <33


    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Also I saw your comment on "You Call Yourself Fat" and I think you might like my piece "Fingerprints of Change"


    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thanks for the support <3


    11 months ago
  • Huba Huba

    Re: I don't have a bias, but I lean toward Felix a bit :)


    11 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    oh my goodness i am so so sorry <333 gosh... i cant even imagine what it would be like to lose a home. it must feel so terrible... oh wow im shocked and horrified and i know how much you must be hurting. there's nothing i can really say but--i am so sorry. I am praying for you and your family and your friends and everyone in your community. oh my goodness stay safe, dear <33 this is devastating. with my empathy, i can feel a fraction, just a sliver, of the pain you're going through--and its overwhelming. oh hon i hardly know you but i want to give you a hug <333 dont feel bad about not publishing -- that can wait.
    all my prayers and love <33


    11 months ago
  • Wisp

    Oh Anlee, I am so so so dreadfully sorry. I remember in 2017 when the Tubbs fire came over to where I lived, gosh it almost destroyed me. And the winds last weekend reminded me of that so much, because I was driving home with crazy winds like that, and the next morning I woke up to fires encompassing my community. I can really resonate with this piece, the fear of leaving your home and as you beautifully phrased it, losing the "souvenirs of your life" Oh I wish you the best and I hope you're safe. My prayers go out to you and your family. All the best.


    11 months ago
  • ect.13

    I'm so sorry... I can't even imagine what this is like for you <3
    This piece is hauntingly beautiful, though. Seriously good stuff, well done.
    Sending all the best - stay strong <3

    Re: thanks so much for your comment :)


    11 months ago
  • Mia2004

    Omg <3
    I pray for you, Stay brave xx
    I'm here if you ever need to talk


    11 months ago
  • mystifiedtulip

    I am so sorry for what you've experienced.... stay strong! ;)

    Re: tyyyyy <3


    11 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    Oh my goodness. my heart and prayers for you, anlee. i'm a californian. (not southern, tho) i've witnessed the kind of devastation you're seeing, and i hope that you and your family and friends stay safe and together.
    the last line spoke volumes. the way you write of small, mundane details because they stick out. because those are the things that leave a mark, oddly. there are so many layers to this, but the best layer is the painful honesty and reality of it.
    peace be with you, even in the midst of the chaos. take courage; stay steadfast.


    11 months ago
  • mirkat

    oh, that's terrrible! wonderful poem though.... the world is literally going up in flames right now. i hope and wish and really hope that you and your family are safe. gosh, that is difficult. you can get through this! <3 <3 <3


    11 months ago
  • resident philocalist

    im so sorry! That must've been so difficult. I love your writing and think its amazing that you're taking a painful memory and creating something (sadly) beautiful out of it! Stay strong!


    11 months ago