LaurenBeeWrites

United States

Name: Amanda
Explanation for username: It's a Spongebob joke
Bands: Waterparks/MCR/TOP
Books: Hunger Games/Shatter Me series
~Teen writer/author~
~Youtube channels~
~Christian~

QUOTE:
"Feel free to feel."

Message from Writer

Writing's a hobby, a passion, and an escape. Words are everything. Write. Take what you read as what you feel, what you see, what you want, what you need, and enjoy the moment. Let the words bleed out of your mind, your heart, your soul. Feel free to find parts of characters in yourself. Feel free to learn, grow, smile, cry, love. Feel free to feel. - Amanda

"As I pick each foot up, step by step, and walk into each door, I get further and further away from myself. As I make each choice, choose each entryway, I try to forget the last.
I want to get lost."

"I will use this torment, this pain, this curse against the enemy, and I will win." - Brooklyn Alderman, Lurid

My Foolish Ambitions And Their Inspiration

October 25, 2020

FREE WRITING

6
    I have had so many foolish ambitions sprung upon by miscellaneous sparks. They all are equally interesting to me, yet also equally frustrating knowing I lack the effort or talent to make them happen.

Singing,

    Lyrics. Vocals. Instruments, sound. It's a beautiful thing. Yes, I consider the electric buzz of a distorted guitar and the pounding of drums and 2000's sounding pop punk vocals of Awsten Knight beautiful, because they are...at least to me. It's alright if they aren't to you. Maybe you prefer Inde alternative like Gnash. I love him to...really...he is what gets me to pick up my ukulele and fiddle for a solid thirty minutes.    
You may not know (you definitely do not know) I am in a band. The Cover Clovers. You can look us up on YouTube. No, this is not a shameless plug for our very astounding breakthrough band that houses a whole 19 subscribers. Maybe it is. Regardless, music has saved so many lives. Thank you Tyler Joseph and Gerard Way and Awsten Knight and Gnash and freaking Taylor Swift. Okay, I have diverse music tastes. Thank you for reminding me to keep on going.
It was a great day at camp when I finally made the decision to get up on stage and sing Safe and Sound from the Hunger Games by Taylor swift in front of hundreds of people because I was in the phase where Peeta Mellark was my fictional sole mate. (he still is.) I never had the confidence to really try and sing and I hated my voice terribly. My southern draw that used to be so prominent when I was younger. I was awfully un-self aware. I wasn't popular and my confidence was shot down many time. Thanks drama teacher who picked favorites. I'm just kidding, your a great teacher...I did probably suck, but then after forever I actually was able to carry a tune and possibly make my youth group shocked for the following night. Whatever. I can play guitar and ukulele, sorta (a few chords). I took piano lessons for like a solid amount of years while balancing dance on the side (we will get to that later). I even did percussion in a fifth grade band class. Maybe the potential is there, but I didn't have the drive to fully apply myself. So as for singing...let's call it a side hobby for now. 

Acting,

    Pretending. Playing. Dressing up. Feeling. Acting is truly an art that can be interpreted in infinite ways. For me it was a dream, a hope outlandishly out of my league. I always wanted to be the next Jeniffer Lawrence or Dove Cameron. I remember watching the Nick show, Every Witch Way and pretending I was Emma and I had powers and I would run around my house rhyming off the top of my head, pretending to cast spells.    
    I took a couple local theatre classes if you can even call them that when I was six or seven. (I do not live in a big city so it was very small) I was even in the local Willy Wonka play. Yeah about that...I was a squirrel.     
    The next time I did a workshop and was in a small production that had something to do with the fifties? I don't know. I was pretty young then. I do remember dancing at the top of a platform as a Tweetie bird. That was fun. I was never the star in school productions and I remember every year, crying after almost making the cut. So maybe the teacher had favorites or maybe I was just not that great at acting. You can decide. My latest production at my old school was the little mermaid in eight grade. I really... really wanted to be Arial. 
My biggest role was with surprise surprise, another drama teacher, that had also taught me in choir class (I should have mentioned that in the singing portion of this). I remember vividly, being so exited to be one of the main characters, while to be fair everyone had a pretty significant role unless you didn't want one, then you were a backstage manger. I remember wandering around in the schools costume room like it was heaven and memorizing lines and getting to use a head mic (which was my schools way of differentiating who was a main character). It was amazing. The production centered around a murderer and my character was quite the brat. She wouldn't answer questions without an attitude and she was beyond a little petty. Hmmm. Quite reminiscent of another character I am associated with, one i created. 
    
Long story short, acting was something I would always secretly love and fantasize about but realistically, well, yeah. However, I did recently film a trailer for a music video with my friend on YouTube! This is turning into another plug isn't it? Oh, well. I guess I have to be a little bit meta at times.

Honorable Mentions,

Did I name this honorable mentions because these next few passions are really honorable mentions, or because I feel lazy and don't want to section out all the projects and interests and ambitions that haven't exactly clicked? Who knows. 

Art. I guess I can draw and sketch and paint. I'm average if you ask me. Honestly I am about average in anything. Sigh.

Sports. I write a book about sports alone. About how they have changed my life, about how they have shaped myself and expanded my friend group. I have a love hate relationship with sports, after all, life is a game.

Dance. I danced. Ballet. Tap. Jazz. All at a studio. HipHop. Contemporary. Lyrical. All at my school. Eighth grade I finally blossomed and it was amazing. It was my last run as a dancer. I will cherish that last recital where I had around six dances with beautiful costumes and an actual chance to shine, a solo in one of them if I remember correctly. It was just another phase of my life. Here and gone in the blink of an eye.

Gaming. YouTube. Hobbies. Side-projects. While still relevant, they aren't strong enough to take over my career. Inspired by DanTDM and Matthias (Hi5 Studios) and Good Mythical Morning, SteveTerrberry, Trey Kennedy, Alex Myers and many many more.

And then there was writing.

    Words befriended me and worked with me and flew through me and flowed onto the page and I finally realized... I was a writer.

It is simple now.     
I am free.     
I am open.    
I am limitless within the pages. 

I am a writer.   
Hey guys! Thanks to everyone thats been supportive as I have began to really get into this community! I just wanted to post something tonight, but wasn't sure what. I decided I wanted to make this from my own experiences and what not and I am pleasantly surprised at how it came out. My life has been crazy the past two years and so many unexpected twists and turns have came my way, writing being one of them! I am so, so grateful for writing, whether It's a novel or nonfiction or lyrics. Writing and words have changed my life forever. Thanks to the bands and the singers. Thanks to the dancers and the actors. Thanks to the artists and the YouTubers. Thanks to the gamers. Thanks to the athletes. Thanks to the imaginers. Thanks to the writers and the readers. Thanks to the faithful. Thanks to the friends. Thanks to the family. Thanks to the community.

I am so glad to be able to say...I am a writer.  

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  • October 25, 2020 - 7:01pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • Anne Blackwood

    I showed it to my brother to figure out if we know you; it's probably that you just remind us of someone we used to know.


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    So I watched your cover of Faded (nice job!), and you look and sound kinda familiar... hm. Could you watch one or two of my videos I've posted and see if I seem familiar to you or if it's just a weird thing? Disclaimer: my looks have changed a decent amount in a few years, so imagine me with longer hair and with or without glasses and/or braces.


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Ugh, this hurts my heart in that bittersweet kind of way. I'm also a singer, actor, writer, and not good enough at any of them to make a career out of one. I really hope you get to though. <3


    6 months ago
  • Emi

    I love the autobiography feel to this! I can't believe you have a band though...I am so looking you up on YouTube.


    6 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    Wow. I laughed, but it was so honest. I guess I kind of knew these things, but not really. People are always more layered than we ever expect. Keep on dreaming and doing. <3


    6 months ago