Taizi Mae

United States

i've been here awhile

Message from Writer

i wanted to say something beautiful, but I don't know your name

they're only made of moonlight

November 13, 2020

Eric is the guy your eyes latch on to; his lopsided dark curls, crescent smile, hands deep in pockets; you laugh (in your head) at his jokes (overheard); you notice how he misses school every other week; in the hallway, your eyes meet (blush), for a nanosecond you pretend you are pretty.

Violet was the girl you tried to shake off; she said you didn't know how to dress and Goodwill was for beggars; but she was the only person who invited you out; once she locked you in her basement, three hours, while you crouched and sobbed in the dark; she stabbed your back with pen during tests (you smile, remembering—that one wasn't C); you wish you were the one who made her disappear, but you'll never complain that she's gone.

Papa is the first drop to your pond of malaise; you were his exercise and consolement; you didn't like his rancor, how it filled the cells in the air, swelled your nostrils; his quiet litany was always "you look just like your Mama"; he wouldn't let Mama die even though she wanted to; yesterday the ravens absorbed his hot cigarette, you threw the windows open and cried.

Elora Sanféra—that's you; it makes your heart twirl that you and Eric have the same initials; you grip the jowls around your waist and shun full-body mirrors; you walk past Violet's old house and a train tugs in your sternum, the potholes in her driveway look smoother; your tiny living room smells like perennials and a river overwhelms your sockets; at midnight, you memorize the black stars on your ceiling and fantasize, imagining black holes will perlocate with moonlight, and that Elora Sanféra is not a nugatory concellation.


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  • Zinniav

    I don;t know what to say. You have voice I never heard before. It's reserved yet burning. you use big words, but they're never unnecessary. And every image feels like it's coming from your belly. Gorgeous.

    26 days ago
  • doodleninja

    your imagery and vocabulary here is SO POWERFUL! I am obsessed with poignant character descriptions and yours definitely fit the bill!
    Love how you describe them through actions and peculiar moments, instead of appearances or personality.
    veeeeeery curious about what happened to Violet. Sounds like a super intriguing story behind all these characters!

    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    also your name is lovely!

    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    woah... i was drawn to this because the title. and now that i'm here, i am in awe. the imagery is phenomenal and i love how you tell a story the story of these people and yourself. i really want to meat them now... and then this line: " at midnight, you memorize the black stars on your ceiling and fantasize, imagining black holes will perlocate with moonlight" i love this so much. "you grip the jowls around your waist and shun full-body mirrors and this is all too relatable... all these people.... your author's craft is simply amazing. also eric XD i know the feeling XD keep writing and telling stories-- you got so much talent!!! <3<3<3

    3 months ago