sunny.v

United States

southeast asian baddie!!
wtw community’s official older sibling
running off into the sunset with circe
april 27, 2020 - march 2021

swordwielding protector of all minority groups
resident knight

Message to Readers

thanks for the birthday wishes on sunday! no, sixteen doesn't feel much different. and thank you to everyone (though it was on The Flip Side) that wrote so many birthday pieces to me! much love :']. thanks for making wtw's golden girl feel golden.

tale of these butterfly wings

October 21, 2020

FREE WRITING

18

and i wanted to feel the wings of a butterfly close up her airways just so i could know she was capable of dying, because
i built up the image of her in my mind, and she would not stop living. / no, she would not stop living, not the memory of her, not
the way i held her hands in mine and / swore i would recognize her in my grave, unmarked, by the warmth of her fingers alone.

and she knows the most vulnerable parts of me, so she has to die, no, / i have to die. / one of us has to die, / to steal the other’s breath first, because
i loved her. a moth to a flame, / my heart to my closest friend. as i came of age, i bared myself to her, and now we have to
kill each other. / (and i now hold a blade.) / or: she has to kill me. / she has to kill the memory of me.
i held the petals of a chrysanthemum in my hands, and / crushed it to feel the morning dew. / and i hate you. / i hope you hate me, too.

she knew me best, i hope she detests me. / i know she’s ashamed of the smear of my name, the way the / butterfly migrations make children pray.
pretend like you don’t know my childhood fear of the dark, / or the trees behind the sloping hills where i have my name carved. /

(i think it’d be best for both of us if you singed out the bark.)

i want to forget her name in this life. / but here’s a secret: / i may still miss her long after i’ve died.
and i hate her, so much i think i cannot bear it. / callouses in my palms, i swore i could be strong,
without you, without you. / (he said) we were not made to be sworn sisters. / i now know this is true.

i challenged the rising sun to prove / (to who?) / that i could make it on my own.
i can fly myself, now. / but, oh, the lengths i had to meet. / please, be upset with me, but
i was a masterpiece, / i was a catastrophe.

and i don’t want to see her now. / not anymore. / i kept my head above water, only thanks to me, / who knows if she’d watch me drown?
but if i see her face again, / (what a reunion, my once dearest friend) / these butterfly wings will not stay pretty:
so, i hope, that day, she kills me.

(but i don’t want the apology. not from her. not from me.)
-don't worry lol i personally do not hold this much hatred for an ex-friend. this was actually written from the POV of my character, Xiu Lihua, from a chinese fantasy series co-written by chrysanthemums&ink and me. xiu lihua is basically experiencing the whole "childhood best friends to enemies" experience, so in the piece, i kinda wanted to show how conflicted she feels about things. she hates her, and she hopes her ex-friend hates her too, but she also kinda doesn't. it's complicated.
-btw i'm! in the works of writing an informational piece! so stay tuned. and don't misbehave, children. later, loves!

Print

See History
  • October 21, 2020 - 11:09am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

15 Comments
  • roo.writes

    i am obsessed with this piece!! the balance of self-loathing and frustration at the friend is absolutely heartwrenching. the language is so strong and drew me in right away because i don't usually associate butterflies with death, so it was a very good hook! it' s a tremendous metaphor you've created, about something so beautiful meeting something so violent. i can't wait to read more!


    7 months ago
  • thea_ivy

    i love how you wrote this! Re: practicality, and thanks for responding.


    7 months ago
  • anonymous_123 [Child of God]

    ooh this is cool

    Chapter 3 is out and chapter 4 is coming out today of my novel he's here! Chapters 1-2 are lengthy but the next chapters will be shorter i promise! Thanks to everyone who reads! Have a great day :)


    7 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Hello sunny!
    I was just surfing through the site when I realized that spurtsofdarkness (Aadit Pahuja) and out of the blue (anoushka I guess) have unpublished all their pieces. Have they left this site?
    I just thought if you knew something about this...


    7 months ago
  • elliem

    Sunny. I've been somewhat inactive on WtW and Prose lately but everytime I read one of your pieces I just fall in this swirling storm of sunny.v word beauty chaos and I don't even know how to describe it?? but it's just?? Hypnotic?? I swear I've never read poetry like yours before; it's so rich and emotional and WOW you are so freaking talented. There are so many beautiful parts in here, it would be simply rude for me to pick just one, so here are some of my favourite lines:

    "swore i would recognize her in my grave, unmarked, by the warmth of her fingers alone." This is just so? vivid? and deep? It's one of those moments I could literally feel the picture you're creating.
    "i was a masterpiece, / i was a catastrophe." Ok Picasso I see you
    "i want to forget her name in this life. / but here’s a secret: / i may still miss her long after i’ve died." Your shift in tone here is somewhat poignant yet mystical and it flows really well. I don't know how your works always tend to have a drop of magic, no matter what you're writing about.


    7 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    i'm in awe of this piece. like, seriously. how can i express my adoration for your writing when you have taken all the words in the universe and crafted them into something too beautiful to ruin? i will be rereading this again and again.


    7 months ago
  • Kit-Kat Sully {Child of God}

    Replying: We still don't know the reason as to her permanent suspension. I'll let you know if I hear more.


    7 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: i guess... but if it offended even one person then maybe it's not. i don't know... your lil actively avoiding conflict overthinking pond dragon wtw little sister is overthinking again. <3


    7 months ago
  • Kit-Kat Sully {Child of God}

    Thank you for letting me know although I don't all together agree. Sadly her account has been permanently suspended.


    7 months ago
  • lochnessie

    ah well i'm back. finally learning to respectfully express my opinions XD


    7 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: thank you for checking up on me! you're so nice <333 and i'm still awkwardly falling off my chair every time you comment, so there's that :D
    I'm all good, everyone is entitled to their personal beliefs so I guess I have to learn that a bit lol.


    7 months ago
  • dahlia

    dw mamas we aren't misbehaving over here *muah*


    7 months ago
  • mirkat

    I have to echo the comments before me. This is wonderful and brilliant and heartbreaking and beautiful. I love it. Like Paisley Blue, I also applied it to my own thoughts and feelings right now. Poetry is wonderful that way, nobody thinks the same thing when they read it. So.... keep writing (you have so much talent!) and have an awesome day! <3 <3 <3


    7 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    This is beautiful.... woah <3333 i absolutely love this. I didn't actually realize this was about ex-friends--i kinda... applied it to my own feelings, i guess?? probably not a great idea but it really spoke to me. Wow. The beginning.... i don't even know what to say about it!!!! this is extraordinary... wow <3333


    7 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    oh. my. goodness. this is extraordinary. i am in awe. this is so well written!


    7 months ago