United States

ia | male | freshman

Message to Readers

//tw for imagery//

i read a fanfic set in late 1930s china, and it broke my heart. i revisited some of those historical events, and i ached enough to write about it. i don't think it's emphasized enough incredibly complicated and tragic modern chinese history is, and i'm sure there's another culture that can say the same thing. from the 1800s, the opium wars, the fall of the dynasties, the fragmentation of the china from then onwards, the invasion of japan into manchuria, the friction between the communist and nationalist party, the countless number of war crimes that imperial japan committed and still hasn't apologized for, the bloody civil war, the great leap forward, the great famine, the cultural revolution, the tiananmen incident, the gang of four, the tianmanmen massacre that was then covered up.... and there is so so much more, all amounting to the current china who is one of the most contentious countries in the world now. i'm sorry about the rant, it's just... it's just so sad.

also unedited yay~

history flows through my veins and it breaks my body in | tw for imagery

October 21, 2020



i close my eyes and pretend i can see / torsos blackened and crushed into fine powder / oil soaking into the concrete floors / your gaze still haunts me at night / and i can see nothing else as you raise your scabbed fingers to my cheeks / and painting it red / . / 

red is the ghost that stares at me from the mirror / where my mother's father curses the red sun but worships the red sea / i weep quietly in my sleep and wake up with my chest heaving / wondering what kind of corpse i would look like had i been born seventy years earlier in that alleyway / wondering where all the spirits went after being buried in the river / . /

my chest still aches for a country that isn't mine / the tragedy of an elder / but for them, a story of victory / but while the blood of the older generations is not our own / it pours into the streets where we can't see it / keeps us afloat on our hatred / our grief / our history / it tells us a story / . / 

and where we lay our arms over our eyes and shed our skins / my heart wants to break / history protrudes from the tail of the red dragon / i break it off and hold it to my chest / and my heart bleeds for it / my heart bleeds for the tragedy of this terrible terrible history / . / 

i carry it with me in my bones in blood / massacres and revolutions / civil wars and sociopolitical movements / gods and leaders / bullets and blue screens / my tears shatter before they come out / i keep it in me and i walk forward as the dawn greets me with its orange sun / i keep it in me but i worship it not / for history only has to be retold to be avenged / and history only has to be remember to not be forgotten / . /

do not preach history like a gospel, do not let it burden your footsteps. the least we can do is move on. the only thing we can do is move on. 


See History
  • October 21, 2020 - 3:16pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: <3 <3 <3

    about 1 year ago
  • mirkat

    Re: Thanks!

    about 1 year ago
  • mirkat

    Hi Chrysanthemums&Ink.... so first off see my comment below on this piece. It is brilliant. Second-- I saw in the comments of someone else's piece that you are working on a lit magazine. Paisley reminded me of it, and I was wondering if you could give me the link? Thank you so much and I think you are an awesome writer. <3

    about 1 year ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: thank you! :)

    about 1 year ago
  • Paisley Blue

    This is so good woah
    I cant even--

    Oh, also, I submitted a poem to gossamer lit! I'm actually pretty proud of it. Question, is everyone who is on the staff on (or used to be on) wtw? I recognized a couple of names!!
    I can't wait to read the first issue, the magazine looks so cool!! :)) Hope you're having a good day <3

    about 1 year ago
  • lone wolf

    ALSDKFJASLDFKJSDALFKJASDFL YES- words cannot describe how amazing this is! ahhhh

    about 1 year ago
  • mirkat

    Woah. This is immensely poetic and heartbreaking and powerful.

    about 1 year ago
  • daisiesonfilm

    this is absolutely beautiful.

    about 1 year ago