avocados are the best (fight me)

United Kingdom

I'd like to be a writer, some day.
Wouldn't we all.

I hope you like my stories anyway. I'm quite proud of them.

Message from Writer

I'm always welcome to peer review, and I'll even try to do an exchange, though I'm not very good at it!

the username is entirely my brother's (Unusually_useless) fault.

how can you not like avocados?

Birthday Call

October 18, 2020


My cousin called me today,
It's my birthday.
I've just turned fourteen, and she is nine.

After the exchange of happy birthdays and thank yous, she asks me
'What's your brother doing?'
I don't think she's asking me because she actually cares about him
But rather because I'm not very interesting to talk to
Even when it's my birthday
And we haven't seen each other in almost two years.
I play along anyway, and tell her that he's on his computer.

'What games does he play?'
'Minecraft and Fortnite, mostly.'

She sighs dramatically
And in her lilting Irish accent complains about how she sits between three boys in class
All they talk about is Fortnite, apparently
She's quite fed up of them.

I don't think anything of it, until we've finished our call
With stilted goodbyes said too soon
I think back to the last lesson I had this week
Fourth period, Drama, with Miss Thornton
When I was sitting next to three boys in class
All they talked about was drugs and girls
Who was dating who, who's the hottest, why do you buy pre-rolled?
And I was quite fed up with them.
But I joined in their conversation anyway, in an effort to fit in
To prove I was worth sitting next to, even though there is a fixed seating plan
And if they had a choice of who to sit next to
I would be the last one on their list.

Adults might say that we're all children
And legally, we are
But if I had a choice between drugs and Fortnite
I'd play Fortnite any day.

Miss Thornton's not her real name, obviously. Also, the ending's a little weird because I didn't know quite how to finish it. Yes this did actually happen, don't do drugs kids.


See History

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  • Emi

    I like the speculation at the end. Can't exactly relate because I'm homeschooled and my "classmates" (siblings) only talk about Legos, computer programming, history assignments, and Mozart. But still a thought-provoking piece.

    6 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    I agree with author Birthdaycandles. I love the tone here, it was so nostalgic. Lovely, author!! Love ya!!

    7 months ago
  • avocados are the best (fight me)

    Re: thank you! at least someone appreciates avocados. I'm glad you liked my piece, and I'm a huge rick riordan fan. uncle rick is the best.

    7 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    I love avocados. Avocados are amazing.
    This piece capture school days startlingly well; it's slightly wistful, sad/disappointed in the world, and contemplative. I'm fed up with that aspect of the world too. Great piece.
    Also: are you a Rick Riordan fan??

    7 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Awwh wow I love the tone you’ve created, it makes it seem that the speaker wishes they could return to easy childhood days. It’s very relatable, I go to an all girls school, but the talk is usually the same, and sometimes I wish too I could go back to younger days when innocent easy topics were the talk of the town.. ah I miss childhood :(

    7 months ago