United States

est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.
[current read: collection of poems by e. dickenson]

Message to Readers

homesick, farsick, & everything in between

write to the place you miss the most

October 18, 2020



Title: remember?

to: home
from: an old friend (who still stands)

time was not kind to you.

you're the only place i've ever know as home; the place i reside means nothing now. with you, i found comfort in the little things that made up the big things. comfort in the wind's singing through my mother's traveler's wind chimes; empty silence slaps my head now. comfort tasting my father's banana bread and my burnt cookies from back then; i bake my own food alone now. comfort in reading at my doorway where all our bedrooms had three people in it; my stuffed bear mocks my writing now. comfort in how raising our voice slightly allows someone else to hear you across the house; now an echo only greets a scream.

sometimes i think about you, but not as much as i ought to. it's weird really, going months without you crossing my mind, and when a photo falls down, my walls crumble as well. makes me feel ashamed too, being inconsiderate not thinking about you; because yes, i had a whole life where you not only stood by my side but kept me safe, protected me, my family too. seems i learned an unspoken truth: tragedy strikes when life's just passing by seems alright. with me, it meant remembering you.

and i know you're a place and it was us who moved away but...i still love you. my sister took her first steps with you; now she's running around with friends i can't quite remember what she looks like without standing in front of her. my brother came home to you; and now all he does is count down until he can leave this house. my dad remarried and brought his new wife to you; she's the mother i dreamed about when mine lost her way before she had to give me away. i learned of love and loss in you; now it's like i can't breathe and just relearning the same things. and i know home shouldn't be a place but i realized quickly that didn't apply to you.

my strongest memory is our last few weeks during my leaving you; sorrowful, i know, but i promise to always hold you close; even if i don't remember you. 'cause not even the arms of my lover, the sun's warm rays, or writing comes close to comparing to you. you're home.

you're home, even if time wasn't kind to you.

don't worry, it wasn't with me too.
finished: 10/16/2020
lowercase intentional & word count is 417.

write to someone that you use to know (shout out to Westley- love, i'm glad you felt inspired and your story warmed my heart. and the courage it must have taken you? ugh, you're a star and i stan.)


See History
  • October 18, 2020 - 2:08pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Paisley Blue

    <3333 love your work!!!!

    10 days ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Wow, this is so achingly heartfelt. Every word was a sensation of empathy, not in the way of feeling bad for you, but just being you. Wonderful work.

    11 days ago