Peer Review by Paisley Blue (United States)

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By: ReaganGrace


    The wind is getting colder, and I know I should be almost home by now. The sun is fading, and its getting harder to see the trail. Leaves crack and crunch under my feet as I walk, the gravel gives me an even path to fallow. I stop and look up to see a full moon, bright and wight. The wind picks up and the trees start to dance along. The stars are starting to shine now. They are so beautiful, the stars. It reminds me of hope, not just the hope of it will get better. No, hope that it will all be done and a calm peace will fall over an open ocean and like a mother helps when her baby cry's.
    The wind dies down, and I let my eyes fallow the sound of a bush. Its a full moon tonight and I can get just enough information to know that I have to run. Now. Then I hear it, her howl. It haunts the forest like a ghost. I don't even think, as my body is sprinting away from her pack. They join like a chore and howl their call. I don't know where I'm going anymore, but I cant stop. Glancing back, her eyes lock on mine as she weaves her way to me. I know they will out run me, its only a matter of time now.
    My hart is pounding, beating to a new rhythm, a stronger and more anxious rhythm. I only have minutes if I'm lucky. Then it hits me, I'll never get to say goodbye... My wife... My daughter... By now my little girl should be in bed, but my love, my wife... She'll be sitting up in her rocking chair, knitting a hat for our newest addition. I wonder if I'll have a son... But I'll never know, and they will never remember there father... I'm sorry... My eyes close and feet stumble, I can feel a tear falling down my cheek as I stat to fall. Goodbye... 
    I wait for the wolfs finish me but they never come. My eyes open and I see nothing but trees and stars. I love the stars. I get up and I realize I'm too far from the trail, turning around I see a light. It looks like a cabin, just a faint orange glow shining between pine needles. There's a small pain in my side and that's when I realize I'm walking into a tree branch towards the light. I keep moving to the light, there's some fog covering the ground and its getting harder to see where my feet are going. Maybe I'll be home by tomorrow! I will get to see my little girl, my lovely wife, and met my new baby! I start running towards that light, my eyes move up to the stars and wispier a thank you. 
    Then my feet stop hitting the ground, I'm falling through the fog. The wind is sharp and I'm moving faster in the wrong direction... No... I keep falling, I must have made it to the ocean cliffs...  Then it hits me, the ground, I'm bruised and can barely move... I look up and see the orange light, the light house... I tell my body to walk up to the light house, but I can't move... So I just lay there, cold, hurt, dirty, and alone until I drift off to sleep forever with the stars... I wonder if I'll see my family from up there... 

Heyo! please if you see anything I can improve on let me know, don't be afraid to hurt my feelings I want advice! Sorry my story's a bit long but I hope you like it! 

Message to Readers

If you have any advice please let me know!

Peer Review

I loved the details you added!! they were excellent!!! :)) Also, the way you slowly developed the character, but in a way as so not to lose the action--brilliant!

Hmm, I guess I'd want to know why the wolves didn't follow him. But really, I think this is complete as it is. Wonderful job!

Reviewer Comments

I really loved seeing your first piece!! If you need anything more, drop a comment on one of my pieces. I'm happy to help! I really loved your story. I hope my comments are useful! :)