Peer Review by Ash (United States)

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It's time

By: Mia Gould

PROMPT: Open Prompt

The wind rushed in though the open window, the curtains violently rustling and my cold feet sticking out the end of the bed sheets. A large lump sat upon the bed, I knew it was Fluffball, she meowed a vicous meow as I turned restlessly in my bed. Would it ever be morning? Fluffball leaped from the bed and disappered in the darkness of the room, the moonlight faint tonight. I heard Fluffball screach and scramble away, finally now I could sleep with that annoying cat gone. I heard a loud thump and some strange noises,that silly cat I thought. 

My fingers twitched and I felt something beneath my hand, morning light shone through the window. I pushed the lids of my eyes open and lifed up a peice of paper. I opened it up and let my eyes ajust to the light and read it.

Oh no they found us. I knew it was in Mother's hand writing, I read it again...

It's time. 

I rushed from my bedroom down the stairs and Mother was there waiting with bags and suitcases. She grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door. As Mother closed the front door I peered back and saw there was writing on the door... 

I took your cat. your next. 

Then I realised it was written in blood.

Message to Readers

Please don't be too harsh on my story as this is my first published piece of writing. I hope you enjoy it and sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Peer Review

It's about a silly cat being killed to threaten the narrator and his/her mother.

You start in the middle of the action, making your readers want to know more and more about this world you've built and the characters in it.

I want to know why they have the cat, who's threatening them, what these people want, what their connection is to the small family, and how the family got mixed up with them in the first place. I want to see more of the child interacting with their mother and I want to see more of both character's personalities.
That being said, I know you started in the middle of the action of the story for a reason. You don't have to add in any of these things. These questions would need to be answered if you decide to continue the piece (which I highly recommend you do).

Reviewer Comments

Don't be sorry about spelling and grammar mistakes: everyone inevitably makes them, no matter how hard we try.