Peer Review by sharonlin (United States)

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In Corridors

By: Grace Ow


FREE WRITING

I walk into the corridor
My feet and my heart lighter than ever before
The grey walls greet me like old friends
I have not seen for 2 months since summer vacation
 
I have dreaded this day for many sleepless nights
Shying away from the prospect of coming back
To a new start, with small nuances of change
The years blend into themselves in different shades,
Such that one cannot pull them apart
But only sense the memories that come with them
 
The fog is a swirl of mist
Almost covering the concrete jungle outside
The rain falls silently,
The rhythm of every teardrop matching my footsteps
And now I just stand there,
With nothing but wide-eyed dreams,
Within this realm of tranquility,
And for the first time,
I have hope.


Peer Review

"The grey walls greet me like old friends" - This personification was very distinctive to me, and I really saw into the journey of the narrator.


I'm left with a feeling of nostalgia, as if the journey has been made by me, not just the writer.


I'm a little confused about the premise of the journey. Why is it so dreaded if you're so content to be making the journey? A little more context and clarification would really help make this point more clear.


Reviewer Comments

The first stanza threw me off. I was expecting a nontraditional rhyme scheme, and I think it might've just been the words you chose for each line that sets off a strange rhythm that isn't reciprocated throughout the rest of the piece. It's a little distracting as a reader, but I can definitely see where you were trying to take the piece.