i harbor my hope in the spaces between your fingers.
grasp at dreams as light falls cautiously and then
all at once, hungrily, upon docked ship straining for sea, upon moonlit water wishing it was more like the others that dance in sunshine, wishing it could hold onto people for a little longer, swallowing cold bodies. i'll look down as the ocean cries, and you'll look away when it's my turn. something in me still smiling, something in me a caged lion wanting a show. letting the world watch me fall apart. letting everyone watch me except for you. did you know i had become it all for you? i let searing universes burn beneath my skin, and still i didn't run for the stars. how long have i been this trembling celestial thing, only flesh and bone and you?
i wouldn’t know. swallow and carry on, heave it over your shoulder, act like nothing at all, make yourself insignificant. this world will never cherish naive grins with crooked teeth, never cherished me and you. instead i befriend gentle small sliver of the moon, sputtering satellite deciding she is pretty enough to be like the others, phantoms of stars that form shapes only we thought to name.
strange chattering night and i feel my youth in my bones again.
i know it's been so long; i know, i know. but will you stand next to me one last time and watch the sky fall:
crashing burning breathing have you ever felt so alive?
i will say that i don't know how to feel about this... i wrote it a while ago and kind of revamped it to fit the style i've developed over time, but it may still carry that weird uncertain cadence that my earlier stuff had. also, more celestial imagery because i can't seem to tear myself away from it!! so i hope at least that's fun and not totally worn-out.
either way, thanks for reading! <3