Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Probably the last draft of this.
Everyone has heard the environmentalist activist say we need to eat organic to save the Earth, but you show us how we need to eat organic simply to save ourselves. Many people don’t realize how dangerous the food we eat is. You show us that eating organic is simply the safer, healthier option.
I, personally, never knew how dangerous the chemicals were. When you mentioned that you have to go inside while your neighbors are spraying, that shocked me. It seems very backwards to spray something on your crops that could hurt your neighbors by simply being around.
I already like your speech as it is, but if you were to add how the chemicals affect us when we eat them, it might make people feel even more apprehensive or repulsed towards eating non-organic foods.
I really like how you chose a topic that affects you, since you live right next to it. Sometimes issues like this can feel distant or like it’s someone else’s problem, but you made it feel closer to us. I really like it!!
You did a great job with this! It is well written, and your use of rhetorical questions and obvious statements really makes the listener/reader feel like non-organic food is obviously dangerous. I like how you used personal examples, and even turned our picture perfect farm into something dangerous. You have a nice contract between YOUR farm and THEIR farm. Good look in the competition!