elisa

United States

6teen. adroit '21

Message to Readers

ahhh i hate this sooo fucking much but it was for school so

gothic (regurgitated)

October 11, 2020

FREE WRITING

9
it was a dark and stormy night. the clouds were peeling
    off their hinges. a hundred million bats were sitting inside of the moon. i sang
out to them the color of a forest
                            but they didn't respond. let's try again.

it was a dark and stormy night. the clouds were peeling
    off their hinges. a hundred million bats are sitting inside of your ribcage. told you 
something was rattling around in there -
                                            you didn't believe me. that's fine, 
                        you never do, and it's just my luck too,
                        to be kassandra. let's play manor house. you be priam of troy. i'll be        
            the cursed one, like i always am. beating marble busts into biting. coming back from the dead
                         with skin like china, watching pitch-black ravens
through cracked windows. every time i inhale, it's my dying breath, every sentence
            my final words. make me your morgue, your final resting place, turn my furrowed brow into a wake.
            lit candles down my spine. ghostly knocks at your bedroom door.
    screw the raven. nevermore.

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  • October 11, 2020 - 11:10pm (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • Century Friend

    Oh my gosh, I LOVE this! First off, never thought the most cliche opening line ever would actually draw me into the piece. And you follow it up with images that feel so real, throughout the whole piece. I also love the switch from the bats being inside the moon to "inside your ribcage." And the tone of the whole poem. It's just so good!


    7 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Like Wisp said — how can you hate this?! This is awesome!!!! Wow. The beginning really drew me in. Really nice piece <3 wow I think I have to read it three more times now!!


    7 months ago
  • Wisp

    You hate this!? Oh gosh, this is better than any of my poetry pieces.
    " to be kassandra. let's play manor house. you be priam of troy. i'll be
    the cursed one, like i always am. beating marble busts into biting. coming back from the dead"
    That is so freaking beautiful, and poignant and just otherworldly. The movement is wonderful and I love the way it is written. It's just utterly glorious.


    7 months ago