Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I recently watched The Social Dilemma, and that gave me a huge inspiration boost for this speech...so if you're a returning reader, hope you like the revisions!
And if you're new, be sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think!
Thank you @mystifiedtulip for the wonderful review!!
The beginning paragraph is really bold. I can hear anger in the writing. I also love your descriptive language, and the unusual topic. This gives power to people who have been silenced, and it makes people who have wanted to silence or didn’t like other opinions feel kinda guilty. We’ve all read something and been super angry, but this makes you rethink your decisions.
I, myself, am so PRO certain ideas, and when someone disagrees (usually extremely) that makes me really mad or exasperated. Especially when that’s all that I see. So this reminds me that it’s ok for other people to disagree.
Maybe if you included a personal experience? I know you said you were the quiet person and you’re almost at the word limit, but if you included a personal experience of being silenced that would add an interesting concept. Also, quotes from famous leaders would add a nice touch. I have this one as my screen saver (XD), “ If all printers were determined not to print anything unless it didn't offend anyone, there would be very little printed,” by Benjamin Franklin.
You clearly have a passion for this issue, and you have a GREAT speech so far! It has gotten better since the first draft, and you included some nice points! This is really a great use of free speech, XD.
This is freakin’ amazing! I love it so much! I don’t know how helpful this will be, but I hope you get something from it:). I really think you could win, or at least be an honorable mention. I will be quoting this often, XD! Have a great day!