ScarlettLucian

Canada

I am a novelist, a poet, a playwright, and a reader. Several of my scripts have been performed and I have written two novels.

Message to Readers

Just a silly little piece I wrote for my writing group a few weeks ago! Let me know if you enjoy!

Never Too Old for the Moon

October 6, 2020

PROMPT: All Talk

5
“Ed?”
“Yeah, Bob?”
“Does my hair smell like salad dressing?”
“What?”
“My hair! Does it smell like salad dressing?”
“Bend down! You’re too bloody tall for me to tell! Nope. Smells fine to me.”
“Oh, good. I was talking to Marge the other day about my dandruff and she suggested I rinse my hair with apple cider vinegar.”
“Huh. Well, now that you mention it, maybe it does a little.”
“Damn it, Ed!”


“Bob, how far away do you reckon Mars is?”
“Well, I don’t quite know, Ed. Pretty far.”
“Just my grandson, Nathan, you know, Cecilia and Zoe’s kid, he’s doing a project for school about the solar system and we got to talking about the planets and such and I couldn’t for the life of me remember how far away Mars is.”
“Oh.”
“Hey, Bob?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you know that Pluto isn’t a planet?”
“What do you mean Pluto isn’t a planet?!”
“Well, the fancy scientists over at NASA decided it wasn’t a planet, what do you think I mean?”
“That’s strange.”
“Tell me about it! Apparently now it’s some kind ‘dwarf planet’, so basically a big loser rock.”
“I don’t see why they had to go changing it up! If nine planets were good enough for us, I don’t see why nine planets aren’t good enough for folks nowadays!” 
“I completely agree with you, Bob.”


“Did I tell you that Jenny threw out my rubber duck?”
“Aw, gee, Bob, I’m sorry to hear that!”
“Just tossed in a trash bag without even saying a word to me!”
“That’s hard.”
“I only discovered it when I walked past the bin waiting by the end of the driveway with the recycling and saw poor little Jimmy all beat up and covered with snotty tissues and some of that chair stuffing that had gone moldy after the basement flooded.”
“And you just left him in there?”
“It was too late. The truck came along before I could do anything.”
“Bob, man.”
“I cried.” 
“‘Course you did!”
“Thanks for understanding, Ed. You’re a real pal.”
“Absolutely, Bob.”


“I think I’d like to go to Mars sometime.”
“What are you on about, Ed?”
“Do you think I could become an astronaut?”
“Well . . .”
“Now, don’t get too enthusiastic!”
“Don’t take that tone with me, Ed! You know I need a moment to think!”
“Fine.”
“I’m sorry, pal, I just don’t see it working out. Pretty sure, and I say this with great love and affection, you’re about thirty or forty years too old for it.”
“Shut up, Bob.”
“Just telling the truth, man! Didn’t your grandson tell you anything about astronauts?”
“Pssh. Think I know plenty about them myself. Don’t need a third grader lecturing me about Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong and the rest.”
“Alright.”


“What about the moon?”
“The what?”
“The moon, dummy! D’you think I could go to the moon someday?”
“Well, we could try.”
“What do you mean?”
“You still have that trampoline up for the grandkids in your backyard, right?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, I figure that maybe if we bounce high enough, we’ll end up on the moon!”
“Bob.”
“Yes.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Not as stupid as wanting to go to the moon in your seventies!”
“Hmph.”


“Ed?”
“What.”
“Do you want to go try the trampoline?”
“ . . . Yeah.”


“C’mon, Bob, pull me up! My back has seized up and I’m stuck!”
“Your back?! What about my hip?”
“Damn it! Don’t prod me with your cane!”
“Should have brought your own!”
“You’re not fighting fair!”
“I never agreed to fair, Ed.”
“Argh, just wait until I get up there!”

Print

See History
  • October 6, 2020 - 1:44am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

5 Comments
  • JustAnotherDarling

    Hello again! Sorry, I just keep coming back to this because I LOVE IT SO MUCH!
    I hope you're having a wonderful day :)


    4 months ago
  • therisingwriter

    Wow... this is awesome!


    4 months ago
  • madeline3.14159

    This was unspeakably sweet!! I just love the dynamic between the two of them.


    4 months ago
  • JustAnotherDarling

    the friendship that these two have is beautiful!


    4 months ago
  • Sanjana Sunilkumar

    Wow, this is great! I am LMAO!


    4 months ago