afomiyafekru

United States

Hello, My name is afomiya
I'm a sophomore in high school
professional Netflix marathon runner:)

What black girls learn

October 20, 2020

My mother calls me pretty and braids my hair
She tells me 
“Always choose to see the beauty in the world, 
And Always remind your sisters of the beauty that lies within themselves even on days, they do not see it
even on days, the world has its hands wrapped around they’re your throat”
She says You must never forget to remind them!
When my aunt comes over, she says look at you
You’re so light, 
I bet you have the boys wrapped around your dainty little fingers 
Because you know what every boy’s weakness is 
 a white or light skin girl that sits pretty and knows her place 

When my best friend asked out the boy she liked since 7th grade
He told her “I’m sorry I don’t really like black girls” 
These young boys
Will grow up
Trying to Form a preference 
Built on these negative stereotypes 
You know the typical dream of every black girl is a Lighter skin, 
The one that is seen as a standard of beauty,
An aesthetic
A dream that is craved by every black girl, 
They Will grow up trying to change their appearance 
Learning to cut and paste long before they understand their strength within 
Learning to paint their skin with lighter shades 
A question every black girl will ask herself 
“Am I light enough”
“Am I pretty enough?” 
“Am I enough” 
“Am I enough” 
“Am I enough” 
“Am I enough” 
Over and over again 
The world will eventually push them to grow up long before they actually need to 
Forced to lose their purity just because black girls are seen as less innocent and more adult-like 
And Words don’t seem to mean a single thing 
Yes they gave freedom of speech for all but 
But did you forget 
The way they snatched your voice the moment you were born
A black girl must always be prepared to hear 
My bad “I don’t date dark skins”
“Black girls are just not my type”
“They’re too ghetto”
Plastered on every boy’s lips 
Internalized racism masked by a preference
Built too deep inside every boy
They must always understand Black skin is bound to bruise,
Understand How easy it is to lose your life over 
a comb, 
a skittle,
a toy, 
a mental illness,
A darker skin tone
Disguised by “I was just doing my job” 
How Dead bodies drop like dead flies 
Gunshots will spray right before your eyes 
The proof will lie in the autopsies 
of the same streets, 
you and your sister used to ride your bicycle on 
22% of black women and girls will be raped at some point in their lives
But That’s all they’ll ever be, 
numbers, 
statistics displayed on screens no one is willing to pay attention to 
so they will learn to keep secrets, 
trying to run away from their traumas but instead taking it all with them 
shedding a couple of tears, and moving several states away
They tell me you are just a kid, how could you know
They’re right, I am a kid, 
but I do know I have eyes and ears 
That hear the same breaking news playing on every tv screen 
Innocence, stolen from our communities
May 25, 1997, Primm, Nevada, Sherrice Iverson 
March 13, 2020, Lousiville, Kentucky, Breyonna Taylor
October 12, 2019, Fort Worth, Texas, Tatiana Jefferson 
February, 8th, 2015, Fairfax County, Virginia, Natasha McKenna
June 9th, 2020, Liberty Township, Ohio, Riah Milton
August 1, 2016, Baltimore, Korryn gain 
You silly girl
They will love your big lips
They might love your beautiful figure 
They will try to put on the braids of your ancestors that stretched across continents 
But nobody, not a single soul will stand up to acknowledge
the actual reality of living in a black woman’s body,
to be a woman 
and black in this country 
because we are unimportant because we are insignificant 
I am sorry mother but I can no longer choose to see the beauty in the world
because all I am able to see is the ugly 
because the world is far too ugly to be reminded of its beauty 
I can no longer walk around with my eyes stitched closed
because choosing to only see beauty, the good means
choosing to ignore the ugly and
right now that is all I am able to see 
and I am no longer able to ignore that.

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