Dmoral

United States


est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.
obsessed with name titled poetry & songs.

Message from Writer

i'm known for my long freakin' comments and highlight crazy reviews, but like seriously? life's been to crazy y'all, so bear with me, please.

___
p.s
if i call you "love" or "lovely" that's just how i talk, so don't freak out lol

uncertainty collects like coins

October 5, 2020

FREE WRITING

7

my family broke apart before i was even born, the day my mother
discovered she wouldn’t be the only one of her anymore; no, tucked
inside her was the creature with the same blood running through their
mutt veins, and an unwritten destiny with a promise of uncertainty.

and so i discovered doomed eternity when i learned that my dad wasn’t
my father and the color of my skin signed me up for bullying, i was a
bucket that collected other people’s spit; yes, but i didn’t like it.

it was a decade of consuming nights that started off crying and ending with
nightmares and lucid dreaming that taught me that uncertainty didn’t
always mean happy endings; sometimes, it only meant an ending. perhaps,
if i didn’t fall in love with the player on the football, confessing to him all
my secret tragedies or attempted to string together a friendship with my
adopted mother and leaving the one who birthed me behind in a forbidden
history; perhaps, things would’ve ended differently. but i did. and ’cause of
it, i can’t change a damn thing. if only those things were my uncertainties.

so play me like a broken record, only the one where it skips straight toward
the ending, because at least then it’ll save you a few undesired miseries; and,
if you ever see me, just run up and start holding my hand, ’cause i promise
you regardless of the moment (even when i’m smiling or in the middle of
kissing a former boyfriend), i promise you i’m still slowly breaking. it’s the
uncertainties that kill me.

trust me, i knew someone who lived a life to sixteen just for it to end because
the uncertainties drowned him and the thoughts controlled his life for him;
sometimes i still think about him, and even though i told jesus i needed a
moment away from him, i even still pray for you.

yes, uncertainties collect like coins; i got a jar of them.
yIKES.

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  • October 5, 2020 - 6:55pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    hi queen. this is... well. this made me feel so much. it reads so easily and your words are so packed with emotion so smoothly expressed. your experiences are broken to us softly but quickly, like bite sizes that are gone from the plate in moments. it comes soft but hits hard, it doesn't beg you to listen but it begs you to stay. i never have anything important to say these days and i'm terribly late but i'm glad that i read this piece sooner or later. no word could do this justice.


    about 1 month ago
  • queenie

    i can't even describe how i feel when i read this. you are truly a master of writing.


    about 2 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    It's 1:30am here and I've to sleep now but these heavy words soaked in emotions are still haunting me! Each word seems prized, carefully picked up to string it all together and blast it upon the reader, taking him/her for a ride, a ride where uncertainties collect like coins!
    *claps*

    PS: In the last line, should it be 'I've got a jar'? Please correct me if I'm wrong. :)


    about 2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    woah... this is intense. (oh, btw, i LOVE your pfp!!!)
    where to start with this... the emotion is so raw and real... "’cause i promise you regardless of the moment (even when i’m smiling or in the middle of kissing a former boyfriend), i promise you i’m still slowly breaking"
    This is brilliant. wow.
    "and so i discovered doomed eternity when i learned that my dad wasn’t my father and the color of my skin signed me up for bullying" ssfhskuagkusg so GOOD i can't
    "uncertainty didn’t always mean happy endings; sometimes, it only meant an ending" wow i love this so much!!!
    You are such an amazing poet, no matter what your message board says. this is insane and i love it so much. Aaaaand... bookmarked. <3 <3 <3


    about 2 months ago