Fernweh

India

messed up dreams in my mind
charred, black soul in my body
catastrophic symphonies in my heart

always missing you guys -
Quille
Ryder

little sis to - Bhavya's Treasure

Message to Readers

reviews would be much appreciated.

underwater

December 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

22
your ocean eyes invited me in
like the sun-kissed horizon of a translucent sea
a dip i wanted
so a dip i took
i thought i knew how to swim
but you took my breath away
locked away like pearls in the clams of your deception
trust comes at a price
little did i know it was my life
i swam to the bottom of your deepest blue, sapphire eyes
to find your hidden treasure
filled with lies
the waves of your fables came crashing down at me
weeds of your false trust unravelling me
searching the depths of my vulnerability to claim as your own
my naivety grips at my throat
and i try, i struggle 
but
the harder i fight, the deeper i fall
the azure calmness of your manipulative mind
surrounds me as i remain underwater
reminding me of my innocent trust
my simple heart
your faithful lies fill me from inside
and i remain trapped in your eyes
trying not to drown
trust is a fickle thing.

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18 Comments
  • Jj101

    this is amazing! those last two lines just wow!
    Re: Thank you so much!!


    2 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace (hiatus) :)

    Really good job with this!! I love it!


    3 months ago
  • Syzygy (#words) (J.A.M)

    Re: xD I'm doing okay! Definitely better than I was. Busier than ever though! How are you? :)


    3 months ago
  • Syzygy (#words) (J.A.M)

    Re: Hehe! Yeah, since challenges and community posts were banned, we like to get together and do holiday names, because why not lol. Just_A_Memory, JAM, Foxy, FoxLilly106. All of them are titles I hold/held lol, just in case!


    3 months ago
  • ~Aurora~

    This is beautiful. Absolutely heart-breaking
    re: thank youu <3


    3 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    omc, i can finally see you on my dashboard again!! nice to see you!!


    3 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Hey, how are you?


    3 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Re: Yes, indeed! I have seen some people feeling proud because they can throw a couple of English words but Hindi (or any of their regional lang.) is like a torture for their delicate minds! That sight makes me sick... And when foreigners come to explore our country, that's kind of a proud moment.
    You know, I've started revising Sanskrit and to my surprise I found Sanskrit Wikipedia where every word is written in Sanskrit!!! That's one of the coolest things I've ever found on internet. Just type Wikipedia in Sanskrit on the search bar and go to the 'mukhyaprishtham' Wikipedia one.
    That will blow your mind as it did mine. XD
    I'm so happy that you could resonate with my views and hold our culture in that high respect. That's like my lovely sister! <3333333
    And, THANK YOU for your encouraging comments, Suhanee!


    5 months ago
  • ~wildflower~

    re: thanks so much for your lovely comments about my piece!!! Yeah, I feel bad for my nails too. And the only way I can sorta stop myself from biting them is to paint them, but that means highlighting their not-so-niceness even more! A while ago I tried this clear nail polish stuff that tastes really bad and is meant to stop you biting your nails, and it was going ok, but then one day I accidentally licked some sauce or something off my finger and the taste was in my mouth for like half an hour. It was terrible! Anyways, let me know if you ever come up with a solution!
    And I’m definitely building a secret room in my house too!! Wouldn’t it be awesome if it was just a normal thing for people to build secret rooms into houses? Then you could be living in your house for five years or something and then one day you discover this uneven floorboard and there’s a little room underneath?
    Phewww - I just read over what I’ve written so far and, whoa, I think I have a little bit of an overactive imagination.... Sorry about my rambling! Anyway, I hope your having a good day/night!


    5 months ago
  • mooncake

    I adore the relationship you've created with reality and something so dream worthy: water! What a lovely piece.


    5 months ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Oh my, this is just breathtaking! Wow, the extended metaphor is perfect, and I love how deeply you exhausted it. AMAZING writing!


    5 months ago
  • kealoha

    Wow, this is just breathtaking <3


    5 months ago
  • Syzygy (#words) (J.A.M)

    Re: thank you! I totally missed that! <3


    5 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Well, that's one thing I find strange about WtW. You just add a space and that becomes a new version. XD
    Though if you'll republish that older version, all your likes and comments would be preserved. So, you can try that!

    Thank you, I'm glad that you're finding that endearing. Indeed, trees make good pets XD but alas! I lost mine...

    Going to check that post to know my Fernweh's name. :D


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    awesome and heartbreaking. <3 wow, amazing piece.


    5 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    wow. this. is. stunning. I have no words to describe how beautiful your writing is. your metaphors in here are gorgeous <3


    5 months ago
  • Syzygy (#words) (J.A.M)

    Trust really is a fickle thing. Beautiful work, Fernweh! <3


    5 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    This is GORGEOUS.


    5 months ago