aosora

United Arab Emirates

meet me there someday

Message to Readers

hanahaki disease // the fictional ailment of flower petals clogging the throat of one afflicted by an unrequited love. to cure it, the love must be reciprocated, or the flowers be surgically removed, whereupon all memories of the person who is loved will disappear.

marigold // cruelty, grief, jealousy

grass // submission

bouquet of withered flowers // rejected love

cyclamen // resignation, goodbye

zinnia (magenta) // lasting affection

hanahaki

October 11, 2020

FREE WRITING

24

i watch this solemn fanfare/ and marvel at how agony sprawled across your face/
there was little noise in the seamlessness of a clogged throat/
you always said i was far too cold to exist/
like all space i inhabited was but a laughable farce/
but i am lesser than the underside of somebody's shoe/ 
this universe and my gaping chest entranced you to no end/
marigolds burst forth between your lips/ 
a fountain of guilt cascading on empty tongues/

i know you thought of me as soulless/ 
a hollow drum beaten thin (i sounded magnificent)/
and how you ached to coax soft nothingness/ 
from the belly of my aloof womb/
oh i reveled in the futility of a dying love/
and all that your clasped hands craved to touch/ 
when the grass twisted itself around your ribs/ 
i almost thought of you/ i almost thought of mercy/
these seeds bloom like unhappy nightmares/
in the crook of my pharynx (i am no gardener)/
withered flowers have no business/ 
building tombstones in my graveyard windpipe/

i have you between the teeth of my fingers/ 
and no amount of etching your desperation on my neck/ 
will make me yearn for you (don't you know empty girls can't love?)/
but in some moments of madnesses/ i will be less brutish/ 
less prone to sink silver fangs in your cavernous lungs/
how useless/ to mistake pity for affection/ 
no sunlight reaches this wasteland/ 
and i watch your heart grow cold/
it births no grief inside us/ 
you lay on your back as cyclamens take root/
shattering old foes in the skin of your ribcage/
i know/ something has died/ 
something has disappeared/ and in its place/
you/ i/ 
entwined hands/ and the soft rustling of/
baby zinnias/



 

empty girls can't love.
i just look at these jumbled words and tell you how painless it is to sacrifice that breath clinging in your throat. do not forget the sun, the violence of being alive, and the ripeness of being in love.

Print

See History
  • October 11, 2020 - 4:51pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

6 Comments
  • Rachaelgrace

    Woah. Your writing. So good.


    26 days ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    one of the most legendary fanfiction tropes of all time, one i neglect to read because it's always heartbreaking. i feel like this departs from your other writings a little bit, though it's presumptuous to say so. dedicated to a "you", your tone takes up an almost scathing tone all while maintaining that critical suspension of reality and dream in those other floating lines. how i've missed your writing, and how gorgeous this really is.

    haha, it's really been awhile hasn't it? i've had your other pieces bookmarked for so long and i've visited your profile countless times since then, but i've never made myself known. miss your writing, missed this. it's simply beautiful in the purest form of the word.


    about 1 month ago
  • Wisp

    I would quote my favorite line, but every single one is just so heavenly I cannot dare to choose. The message to readers really had an impact on the piece, it created more depth and sculpted this picture that I hadn't seen before. The meanings of the flowers, gosh everything just clicked so perfectly together. I love your writing so dearly. It's so beautiful and when I read it, it's like I know what it's like to dream again. Your writing makes me feel the heartache of nostalgia and everything is so brilliantly woven. This is a masterpiece, and you are a legend.


    about 2 months ago
  • queenie

    this is one of the most beautiful pieces i think i've EVER read. why haven't you got a publishing deal already??


    about 2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    woahhhhhh this is amazing!!! I am constantly stunned by your work. Really awesome piece!!! And the footnotes are a poem themselves!!!


    about 2 months ago
  • Emi

    This is kind of cool, how you used a fictional disease like that and turned it into a piece of art. This is such a beautiful piece!


    about 2 months ago