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Message to Readers
I was really surprised because this is a very interesting perspective. I can't wait to see where it goes! One thing you could change, though, is making the journal entry part italicized so that the reader knows when the journal entry ends and the experience of the main character begins. Unless this is all just one big journal entry. If that's how it works, then it's fine to leave it the way it is. :)
I would like to know if this is sort of based on your life? Are these actual experiences, fictional experiences with a little bit of your life in them, or totally fictional experiences?
I think this storyline is very intriguing, and I'm interested to see where it goes. The little details and your diction is very intentional, and I feel like it really brings the reader into the piece.
You did a terrific job of making this simple and realistic. I kinda like how you didn't sugarcoat anything; you just told it the way it is, no extra cherry on top, and that gives this piece a whole new level of realism. Again, great job! <3