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Heyo! I’m Lauren, a high school sophomore who loves reading too many fantasy novel series, listening to music, and eating a probably unhealthy amount of ice cream.

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Is there anything I can revise or improve? Please let me know, I really appreciate it!

Devilish Wishes - 4

September 26, 2020


The Devil filed his talons nervously. He was sitting on a surprisingly comfortable cloud chair that emanated nothing but holy rays and the sweet scent of virtue. The smell of God’s coffee was everywhere, a constant reminder of who, exactly, he would meet in a matter of moments.

The door swung open. God waltzed in, dressed in his customary white robe and carrying his customary cup of black coffee.

“Lucifer Morningstar!” He boomed. “What brings you here today? Perhaps an apology for the planet issue?”

The Devil pasted on his business grin hurriedly. He simply had no intention of discussing the planet issue.

“Well, erm,” mumbled the Devil, squirming in his cloud chair, “I have something to ask of You.”

God flopped into His own cloud chair behind His immense gilded office desk and placed His coffee cup on a meticulously-arranged coaster. Then He folded His hands, the very instruments that had created the Earth, on the tabletop and eyed the Devil suspiciously.

“It’s nothing too big, I assure You,” the Devil clarified quickly. “It’s just that I have to fulfill an old lady’s wish.”

God took a sip from His coffee cup and leveled His Singular Holy Judgement GazeTM Level 1 on the Devil. Then, He said, in a moderate boom:

“And so you return to wishes. Have you not forgotten the time I helped you turn the ocean pink for Hailey Smith? The time I helped you make a cloud solid so that a fanciful Edward Hiliker could float on it? The time I—”

The Devil interrupted before God could mention the planet issue for the 101,539th time:

“Yeees,” the Devil said, twisting his suit lapels, “I do recall, but this time, it’s an old lady. How bad can that be?”

God took another sip and leveled His Singular Holy Judgement GazeTM Level 2 on the Devil.

“Lucifer,” He sighed, “You came to me. That’s how I know it is definitely serious.”

The Devil was mighty, but not almighty, so he crumpled and said, hurriedly, meekly:

“I need you to retrieve Martin Alexander Hopkins Rawlings from Heaven, so he can be on Earth again for a month.”

God frowned a tremendous frown.

“Lucifer,” he sighed, “You do know what the Section 236 of the Heavenly Code says…unless you’ve forgotten?”

The Devil squirmed some more and tied a knot in his suit lapels.

              “Err, yeees?” said the Devil, in more of a question than an answer.

God leveled His Singular Holy Judgement GazeTM Level 3 on the Devil.

“Those of pious and virtuous quality, upon their passing from Earth, must ascend to Heaven…and remain there for happy eternity,” He boomed.

“And I get those of putrid and sinful quality?” echoed the Devil uncertainly.

“Correct,” continued God, “And so, you see, it is no laughing matter to ‘retrieve Martin Alexander Hopkins Rawlings from Heaven’”.

Crestfallen, the Devil stared at his knotted suit lapels, but raised his head slightly as God continued continuing—

              “However, it is of my knowledge that there was a dreadful misunderstanding between Martin Rawlings and his mother, Tabitha, with whom I believe you’re already well-acquainted.” Said God, a pensive look on His magnificent countenance, “It is thus that I believe bringing Martin to Earth, and potentially mending this rift, would be a sufficient reason to grant this wish. A miracle worthy of my Son, indeed.”

Here, God turned to His office doorway and shouted with the force of an enthusiastic thunder peal.

              “Jesus of Nazareeeeth!”

Promptly, the door swung open, and Jesus, luscious brown locks flowing, holy halo glowing, floated in.

“Dad? What is it this time?” He said, holding a wine glass whose contents were shifting between good Merlot and alpine water.
God took a sip from His coffee cup.

              “Son, I need you to bring Martin Alexander Hopkins Rawlings to Earth.”

Jesus swirled his alpine water contemplatively.

“Well, Dad, there could be some issues with that,” He said, swirling his Merlot counter-clockwise, “Transitioning heavenly souls to bodily flesh does not occur instantaneously, and we’ve only done that a few times over the past millennia.”

God beamed widely.

“Ah, my Son, you were always a genius,” he boomed, “But you must realize that perhaps the transition will provide a basis of illumination in the process.”

Jesus’ holy halo glowed a little brighter, and he swirled his alpine water excitedly.

“Indeed, indeed,” He murmured, as He floated out of the office with a final swirl of his Merlot.

Relieved, the Devil deflated in his cloud chair. His mission was complete, and God had not mentioned the planet issue—

“And now, Lucifer,” intoned God, with the fire of determination in His great eyes. “About the planet issue…”

The Devil bolted.
Chapter 4 of a novel/novella? I'm working on. 


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  • September 26, 2020 - 12:37am (Now Viewing)

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