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Heyo! I’m Lauren, a high school sophomore who loves reading too many fantasy novel series, listening to music, and eating a probably unhealthy amount of ice cream.

Message to Readers

Is there anything I can revise or improve? Please let me know, I really appreciate it!

Devilish Wishes - 2

September 26, 2020


The Devil stood on the house porch and contemplated the doorbell in front of him. It was rather dusty and more than a little rusty, but it worked when he pressed it with a well-manicured talon. Immediately, a frantic cacophony of barking exploded behind the door.

The Devil groaned inwardly. He never did well with dogs. The creatures disliked him, loathed him even. The Devil straightened his impeccably-ironed suit jacket and took a calming breath.

Coming up to the door were muffled, slipper-clad footsteps—slow, methodic, and shuffling. The Devil groaned again. He’d been hoping that he’d get a sprightly young person. Sprightly young people always wished for the cool things in life—like lots of money, or a spanking neon green Lamborghini, or an enormous mansion—all of which he’d be willing to grant, at a price of course. He’d be a bad businessman if he didn’t. Old people, like the person he’d undoubtedly meet in a few moments, wished for stupid, sentimental things like going back in time for a bit or seeing bygone friends again, or worse, nothing at all. The last human the Devil had offered wishes to was an old man who’d turned him down completely.

That was why the Devil had stopped giving out wishes for a bit—for what was the point of giving out wishes when no one wanted them? However, he was bored and wanting of some entertainment, and so, willing to risk all and go for it.
The door creaked open, revealing an elderly lady with pink plastic curlers arranged in what was left of her hair and reading spectacles drooped low on her nose. She smiled brilliantly at the Devil.

              “How may I help you?” she asked in a sweet, wobbly voice.

The Devil startled to attention, preening a bit and giving the old lady his best business grin.

            “Well,” he drawled winningly, “You may know me. I go by many names—Satan, Lucifer, the Devil, and I’m willing                to offer you the prize of your lifetime.”

This impressive statement appeared lost on the old lady. She squinted near-sightedly.

            “Mister, you seem to be one of those trouble-making youngsters who delight in pranking old women as me, so I                recommend you to educate yourself and—” she began.

The devil interjected,

              “Oh, no, ma’am,” he said, “You’re quite mistaken. I am the Devil.”

He demonstrated with a fancy flourish of hell-fire, with which he conjured a fizzing aerial whirlpool of marshmallows, which exploded and coalesced into a steaming mug of hot chocolate. He proffered it to the old lady, who now looked extremely alarmed.

              “Good heavens!” she exclaimed, and began to close her front door.

The Devil, unperturbed, continued smoothly,

              “I can introduce you to Him if you’d like, or grant you anything you wish.”

The old lady stopped and peered at the Devil from the tips of his fire-proof loafers to the top of his vaguely-disguised horns.

              “Introduce?” she asked, curious despite herself.

The Devil snapped to attention.

              “Of course!” he said.

And he opened an old-lady-sized portal to heaven. Through it, he could see the gag-inducingly white clouds and the oh-so-holy angels, and he could smell God’s coffee. Then he turned to the old lady.

                “Here, ma’am, the portal to heaven,” the Devil announced proudly. “Just step right through and I’ll charge                 you a week later.”

The old lady was now completely flabbergasted. Dumbfounded, she goggled at the shimmering portal.

              “I-Is t-t-that?” she stammered.

The Devil beamed ginormously.

              “Indeed, ma’am, exactly what you asked for, a visit to Heaven.”

The old lady gawped.

              “B-but,” she sputtered.

The Devil frowned. His patience would only go so far, and he wished the old lady would just hurry on through the portal so he could visit the next house he’d located on Google Earth. He flickered the portal on and off impatiently.

The old lady gathered her composure.

              “Sir, if you truly are the Devil, what business do you seek around this neighborhood?”

The Devil heaved a sigh, and the portal disappeared with his disappointed exhale of air.

            “Ma’am,” he began, slowly and methodically, “As I’ve previously stated, I’ve come to grant wishes. A certain             entertainment on my end, if you must say.”

             “Wishes?” queried the old lady, now looking very confused.

            “YES! WISHES!” howled the Devil hysterically, having lost his cool and his patience. “ANYTHING YOU DESIRE, I             WILL GRANT IT TO YOU!”

He flung the conjured mug of hot chocolate into the air, where it dissipated into a pleasant-smelling mist. The old lady waved her wrinkled hands in a vague motion of appeasement.

            “Hush, there is simply no need to speak so loudly, my hearing aids are perfectly functional,” she said. “Now tell             me, what kind of wishes?”


The Devil was now feeling the complete opposite of being entertained. Instead, he was supremely irritated, nearing irate, and he thought nothing more of abandoning this wishes idea and leaving the daft old lady on her doorstep. The daft old lady herself, on the other hand, had sunk into a state of contemplation. Several seconds passed, until she stood up quite straightly and looked the Devil in the eye.

              “Sir, I’d like to make a wish.”
Chapter 2 of a novel/novella I'm working on ^-^


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  • September 26, 2020 - 12:31am (Now Viewing)

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