erin!

United States

叶安灵 // 16, 2022 // she-her-hers
hey hey
eritiserint on prose.

Message from Writer

likes to write about feelings. also loves to listen to music, go on walks, and make smoothies!

if a piece has been removed, i've submitted it for publication!

thank you for 100(!!!!), i <3 you

that's just what i think!

September 24, 2020

FREE WRITING

5
There’s so much noise that we never really talk about; I started regarding any moments without speech as silent. Blind and deaf to the honking of cars, the mowing of lawns, the breathing and chewing and living that was happening all around me. In tunnel vision, I had grown tired of caring about every little thing an environment presented.

When you stop caring, things get easier until they start to suck. Eating plain oatmeal every morning will fill you up with fiber and nutrients, but no amount of magnesium is worth the pain of eating wallpaper glue for the rest of your life. Everything delicious presents inherent risk.

Talking through a problem is sort of like eating spicy food. It burns. You cry. You gasp for air and wonder if you’ll ever stop feeling the pain. And then you do feel painless, which is when you start to realize that it actually felt good when you weren’t so numb. So you go in for another bite.

What I’m trying to say here is that a one-track-life is the fast course to emotional death. Take a break from the screen and look outside your window. Go on a walk and observe the noises present, not attaching any negative emotions to them, but just noticing that they’re there. A lone bird chirps. The wind rustles brittle autumn leaves. A garbage truck makes its presence known. You’ll find that you probably missed out on a lot in the time that you’d blocked out the world.

Don’t block out yourself either. Feel yourself breathing, that expansion and contraction of your lungs a sign that you haven’t yet completely given up. Clench and unclench your muscles. Ask yourself how you’re feeling, honestly. We spend a lot of time blocking our own feelings and whatever else makes us uncomfortable. We try to live in greyness.

You know, humans were made to see color.

This isn’t a piece of motivational propaganda meant to steer you towards therapy or meditation. But I think it’s good to pay attention to what’s around you, and what’s inside you. And I think it’s good to laugh. Edginess is overrated.

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  • September 24, 2020 - 7:41pm (Now Viewing)

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