Dmoral

United States


est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.
obsessed with name titled poetry & songs.

Message to Readers

Is it so bad that Nicky just wanted a happily ever after different from his Dad?

legacy tried to sculpt Nicky

October 7, 2020

FREE WRITING

13

perhaps it's true, you'll always live in someone
else's shadow; that's why they tell you as their
gaze shapes you into your father's legacy your
mother birthed you into. even if it's not, this
is how you grew up:

it started young, back when you took medicine
like shots, due to your youthful injuries; yes,
back then it wasn't so bad to be the center of
your father's world, following into his footsteps
then was a blessing, there was no controlling,
simply; innocent loving. then it grew to be a
necessity, that your soul was predestined to
obey the legacy; you must play, it's your
purpose; even if you don't want to just try it
out, for your father honey;
 'cause even though
they say they love you, it somehow ends up
about them. soon, you realize that even though
it's not okay you're failing AP chemistry, got a C
on that exam you  studied for all thanksgiving
break (in between practices of course), it's still
more okay than the team losing a game 'cause
it's all your fault (should've played better boy;
what  
happened out there; i didn't raise you to
play like that; how does losing you? you better
learn from it)
. next game comes and they're
telling you it's all on you, it's all on you, you gotta
play football Nicky, we're counting on you; it's
almost as if they forgot what happened last time
they didn't listen to your face say, hey, i need a
break.
 suddenly the whole crowd hears it, your
father's yelling GET YOUR TAIL OUT THERE, play for
the team-PLAY FOR ME.

and it finally, fully, breaks you; the legacy comes

falling down in the form of tears as you scream back
(as your father recalls it: with "audacity") the pain
you've been enduring for years; I DON'T WANT TO PLAY
FOOTBALL. 
because even when you use to love 
something, you can still grow to hate it; it's a pity,
really, you could've fulfilled the legacy easily (as your
mother says lovingly, it's in your blood honey), if only
they hadn't painted your dreams for you first.

but Nicky, it'll be okay; i promise, even if
your daddy's mad at you & your mommy
doesn't know what to do (her two boys are
fighting, can't you see it hurts her too? why
can't one of you just talk to the other already,
throw in a few "sorry"s and try again? just
try again already.) i know it hurts, Nicky,
but please listen to me, it'll be okay; because
i still love you.
legacy called himself an artist and sculpted your destiny; it only took eighteen years of conformity smoothing the sides of resistance's edges for your to voice out who you wanted to be; don't worry Nicky, i'll hold you when everyone leaves you (even if they pretend to stay with you, i'll be the only one with my arms around you).

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  • October 7, 2020 - 9:36pm (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • waxingcrescents

    "it's a pity,
    really, you could've fulfilled the legacy easily (as your
    mother says lovingly, it's in your blood honey), if only
    they hadn't painted your dreams for you first."

    Girl. This is heckin amazing. I just--okay. Yeah. You've made me speechless.

    You are so good at tugging at the heartstrings. You tell this story in such vivid detail, and I love your use of repetition with the family calling Nicky "honey"; it really emphasized the routine of their conflict. Concise, nice, and precise. Terrific.

    Also, thanks so much for your comment! Always makes my day when you pop by to say hello.


    about 2 months ago
  • Cosmogyral

    "because even when you use to love something; you can still grow to hate it...if only they hadn't painted your dreams for you first." i love this line, it's so easily real, especially from a spectator's point of view. another beautiful work.
    re: thank you. i only want my poetry to be blunt and real, so thank you for noticing. whether or not poeple see it as that or 'heartbreakingly beautiful' is never up to me, in the end. so really, thank you. (i secretly find that titles end up long-winded and the poem is then soon lost) writing poems under a single title gives new meaning to each, because they're under that title for a reason, so the end game is always something unique, and hardly expected. should you ever need inspiration by it, i sincerely recommend starting a 2-5 series or long essays to see how you like it. mine is a collection because there are so many, haha.
    thanks again, <3


    about 2 months ago
  • dream02

    AMAZING!


    about 2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    woahhhh this is awesome!! omg i love the footnotes... how are you so good!!! This is amazing. wow.
    "they didn't listen to your face say, hey, i need a / break. suddenly the whole crowd hears it, your / father's yelling GET YOUR TAIL OUT THERE, play for / the team-PLAY FOR ME"
    this is intense and SO GOOD wow. seriously im stunned. awesome piece!! <3


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re:
    1. So I can never remember the faces of people in dreams for some reason, but you had black hair. I must have substituted someone I've seen before for you, but I have no clue who it was or any specific details of her.
    2. That made me laugh out loud. Idk I just have elaborate dreams. You're gonna be fine lol. No need to hyperventilate.
    3. Eh, he isn't actually that sweet irl XD that's just the version of him my subconscious conjured up.
    4. Yeah, you're just that powerful. ;P
    5. Yeah my comment was oddly vague haha. Hope I didn't freak you out. Um. You're welcome? (What does one even say in this situation?)
    <3


    2 months ago
  • lochnessie

    "perhaps it's true, you'll always live in someone
    else's shadow; that's why they tell you as their
    gaze shapes you into your father's legacy your
    mother birthed you into."

    wowwww this is so good!!!!


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    "if only
    they hadn't painted your dreams for you first."
    Whaaat that's amazing!!


    2 months ago