Paisley Blue

United States

they/them | 6.2.2020
lesbian & genderfluid | christian

full of wonder

Message to Readers

I have no idea where this came from.

before people get concerned, DON'T WORRY, i'm not leaving! But i do think this was a little inspired by my feelings about wtw. I just went onto the dashboard and there hadn't been any action for about half an hour, and i still remember when pieces could get lost amid the flood of activity. I'm sticking around, but that doesn't mean i don't miss how it used to be. because i do. i believe that the sun will rise again on this ghost town, but the memories are painful when i look at what it is now. and with so many people gone or inactive, it hurts my heart. again, i'm not leaving. i'm sticking around, through the good and the rough and the impossible.

anyways, hope your day is going well! happy writing <3 may the gods of inspiration grant you with an abundance of ideas! ;)

memories slipping through my fingers and lips, leave this ghost town behind

September 26, 2020

FREE WRITING

17
this ghost town is not what i remember, no, in my memory vibrant colors dance and there is life. here
here is only the remnants of those who refuse to die.
or maybe we're long since dead and buried, maybe we can't see it yet
keep your eyes open and you'll get a glimpse of the here and now
the shades of gray that this life has faded to
the way we walk, trudge, lift one foot in front of the other.
mimicking the dance we used to know, a twisted version of the happiness from so long ago.
and sure, you can't see the sadness from behind my mask
i've painted it well and you won't see it until i crack
but it lurks behind the plastic surface, pressure behind my eyes and leaking out the pads of my fingers
they've forgotten too, it seems, the way we used to sing.
your voice still knows the trills but your mind has deserted the melody
no one is here to catch the hope dripping from my half-full glass
they were smart. they loved and let go and i only lost.
and the voice in my head tells me that i've been left behind
if i don't believe it, is it still true? it doesn't matter anyway, as there's no one left to care
faded, dull, yellowed as an ancient photograph
and if it is ancient what am i? merely a relic of something long gone
trying to hold on.
what use is it to hold on when my fingers are breaking from the pressure?
what use is it to proclaim when my mouth has been stitched tight, too tight, too tight to breath?
what use is it to believe when there is nothing left?
my broken heart pleads with me, it used to be so good. my mind can't hear over the deafening noise of the
sobbing souls, the whispering feet dragging through the dust and memories
it's not enough, nothing can bring it back
i've dissolved with it, a shadow of longer lives.

i'd pack my bags but there's nothing to bring. everything broke long ago.

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  • September 26, 2020 - 9:23am (Now Viewing)

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20 Comments

  • Wisp

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/210930/version/439596
    For the darling that deserves it all :')


    about 2 months ago

  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thanks :)


    5 months ago

  • lochnessie

    re: <3


    5 months ago

  • rainandsonder

    re: no don't apologize, i love philosophizing and i definitely get what you mean! i do that sometimes and i think it's simultaneously reassuring and sort of terrifying. like, on the one hand, if you're having a bad day, it's all going to be a memory soon anyway so you know you'll be able to get through it. when i got my helix piercing, i just counted to five while it happened because i knew that after five seconds, it would be a memory. but it's also kind of scary to think that that's how impermanent our experience of the universe is.


    5 months ago

  • Mpm#1

    Loved this piece by the way! I’m glad you aren’t leaving <3


    5 months ago

  • Mpm#1

    Re: Nope, I just was like “Hey, why would I get trapped somewhere.” Clearly in a wardrobe while looking for NARNIA was one of the only plausible conclusions!


    5 months ago

  • beth r.

    re: aw thanks!


    5 months ago

  • beth r.

    i'll let u know :)


    5 months ago

  • beth r.

    re: thanks so much :)


    5 months ago

  • WitchyKittyKat

    re: whoops, I haven't checked the website in a couple of days. Thank you! I totally forgot I'd made all those changes haha. Also wow really good piece. And I'm glad you're not leaving


    5 months ago

  • V-Rose

    So, here's a chapter for Flying on Broken Wings! I hope you like it! Please let me know!
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/193144/version/392201


    5 months ago

  • antizoeclub

    re: thank you!! you're always too sweet aw lsdkjfs


    5 months ago

  • Wisp

    "they've forgotten too, it seems, the way we used to sing.
    your voice still knows the trills but your mind has deserted the melody
    no one is here to catch the hope dripping from my half-full glass"
    To reiterate Abby.a's comment: the emotion is just divine, and the descriptions are just heavenly. This piece, it's so heartbreaking yet so methodically heartbreaking, like you know your heart will become broken, but at the same time you don't mind it. Honestly, this was a beautiful read and all the lines were just dazzling.
    Replying: Haha, I couldn't possibly leave this site yet and the community is just so thriving. And thank you so much for your kind comment, you're one of the people here who make this site worth staying for. You're just as kind and caring to everyone here, and your comments are always so wholesome and supportive. And I'd be glad to party with you, to many more years!


    5 months ago

  • abby.a

    duuuuuuuude the EMOTION WHAT THE HECK


    5 months ago

  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thanks!


    5 months ago

  • AmethystsAlias

    Re: THANK YOU!! I also hope you're having an AMAZING day, and I honestly can't not compliment someone when they have great writing! I love the moving, emotional pieces that are deep and relatable- as much as most wish we didn't experience pain, it happens anyway, and we have to face up to it. <3


    5 months ago

  • AmethystsAlias

    This piece is beautiful!!!!!!!!!! The heaviness that is carried through the words is so powerful, and to some it's relatable. The description is so on point, and I have no idea what else to compliment because I'm not awake right now lol. P.S. Part two of 'Words Fail' is up right now! I noticed that you were interested in the story (and part three is being written!)


    5 months ago

  • sunny.v

    re: oh my gosh, dear, i’m so sorry it took me this long to reply. things have been busy for me too, and also, as you wrote so beautifully and poignantly, it’s...a ghost town. anyways, i’m so happy to hear about the gf!!! good luck to you!! but, your mental health...hon, im here for you, yeah? whatever happens, i’m rooting for you at the end of the finish line. i hope the pain eases soon <3. about The Other Place: that’s totally fine! whatever your reasons are, don’t worry, i’ll still be here to say hello! unless circumstances make it so i don’t. but still. don’t sweat it!
    i’ve been so-so, i guess. school is extremely busy for me (i go to a super hardcore nationally ranked nerd school.) so i’m deceasing. i’ve been posting a little bit on Prose, writing a collab with friends, and i started an online literary magazine! it’s called Interstellar Literary Review, and the editing team is made up of some wtwers, so we’re super excited about the whole thing! anyways, i’m bombarding you with way too much information. thanks for asking about me! let’s keep in touch, yeah? you’re one of my favorite “newbies”, so it’s a joy to get to talk to you. stay safe, my dearest!! <3


    5 months ago

  • beth r.

    the format of this is really unique and its a masterpiece
    re: aw thank you so much! the tips and support mean the world to me :)


    5 months ago

  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Aw thanks you! <3


    5 months ago