I had forgotten what freedom tasted like
I was alone
sitting in the shadow of solitude
sour tears on simple walls
confined within
and the world?
there was none
the silence was sickening
gone were the sounds of the city
the sounds of life
fear became the new anthem
each unruly beat
tearing a new hole through my heart
it wasn't supposed to happen like this it wasn't supposed to end this way
and then I met you
we were the same, yet different
friends, yet strangers
familiar, yet alien
you took my hand gently in yours
with no promises, no reassurances,
but utter sincerity
and showed me the way out
and even though the world hasn't changed
at least I have you
Footnotes
I was skimming through my "free writing" and I found this. Hope y'all enjoy (and sorry if it's not my best work, I just really felt the need to publish something)
Hey! So I know this is random (story of my life, XD) But I wanted to let you know I’m writing a song that’s partially inspired by this poem. I hope that’s okay with you? I’ll give you credit, of course, if I end up posting it or anything, but I just wanted to ask if you mind if I use a few of the lines from this poem?
just WOW! it's like this poem can be about anything, but it's not. It is about something that you, the writer, chose. To us reader's though, it feels like it can be about anything that we choose. Keep writing, this is great!!
So I just found out your name (I promise I wasn't stalking you... okay I was but I stalk everyone to some extent... I just saw the name Michael and whatever) and I freaking love it. Like I was highkey obsessed with that name for like a year.
Re: thank you! Yes, it’s kinda got an HG vibe, but actually it’s more based off of an old friend of mine. He was my grandma’s neighbor, and he was three years older than me. We were friends for like 5 years, and then he moved and never said anything to me. And then I saw him after that (he was a friend of my cousin) and he also didn’t say ANYTHING to me. That was really hard. But I’ve worked through it in writing before, and sometimes I think about it and like to write about it. It still makes for some interesting writing I guess.
Re: aw, thank you! I hope I’ll publish it someday (I need to work on it more...... but my first draft of book one is done!) And haha, I still don’t know where that came from! I don’t know his name, I might have to go ask him...... Thank you about Noelle, it was inspired from the song! :)
Re: Connor!! Thank you, that’s so cool! Believe it or not, one of my book characters is named Connor (I promise I’m not making it up! It’s outside of WtW, but he’s kind of like Gale but.... kinder I guess no offense to Gale!) Okay so for some reason I imagine names/voices/appearances for people a lot of times. Jason kept coming to my my mind (I really have no idea why) and Michael (I honestly was thinking of F’Otter for that one...) But I think it’s so cool that I have a character named Connor! Thanks for sharing! And also, I guess I’ll share something about myself in return, it’s only fair. Hmmmmm........ my middle name is Noelle.
Re: Thank you! I’m so happy it’s relatable! I’m glad, cause I wasn’t quite sure....
Yep, it was pretty terrifying. But hey, if I lived twice in my dreams, that’s got to mean something right? I don’t know... But thank you! Also, if you feel like sharing, I’d like to know your name. I’ve had a couple names that keep coming to my mind, but idk where they came from! XD Anyway, I understand if you don’t want to. But also you’re more than welcome! :)
This is amazing! I was wondering if you could review one of my piece, this is the link: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/194901/version/395976
Re: thank you! Yes, it’s interesting! Sometimes I don’t know that I’m dreaming though, like especially in some scary situations... I dreamed I was in the Hunger Games the other night. It took all of about 5 seconds after the games started for Cato to come after me. So yeah. But I lived (and won with Peeta and Rue.....) I’ve dreamed I’m in the Games at least twice. Someone always caress me
Re: Aw, thank you! Yes, it just kept getting longer and longer, and I was almost crying too! So yeah. But thank you, I always put a lot of emotion into them so it’s interesting to write.
Re: Thank you!
Lol it's fine I was just giving you a hard time. But if someone breaks your heart, I will track them down and give them the mom glare. And I might throw something. At them.
Wow, I love this! I’m not that good at poetry, so I always think “bad” poetry is amazing! Although, I’m pretty sure not poetry is bad, because... it’s poetry. But I love how you took two very real emotions and described them so well! Great job!
This is so beautiful. I know I overuse that word, but it really is. Raw, emotional, real, and sweet. Could fit right in a realistic YA book (in a good way. Reminds me, for some reason, of Hope and Other Punch Lines by Julie Buxbaum, even though it's not really related.
This made me smile, what a wonderful piece with simple beautiful gestures. Also thanks for the welcome to Wtw, I was very confused about this site and your welcome was greatly appreciated!
36 Comments
Coolgirl2020 (LOVE YA ALL)
Just reviewed!
Rohan’s Defender
Hey! So I know this is random (story of my life, XD) But I wanted to let you know I’m writing a song that’s partially inspired by this poem. I hope that’s okay with you? I’ll give you credit, of course, if I end up posting it or anything, but I just wanted to ask if you mind if I use a few of the lines from this poem?
Rohan’s Defender
Aww, thank you for the bio mention!! :D And also, I left a review on this poem this morning! Hope you get it soon!
rise
This is great ...I like the lines in the 4th Para- and then I met you....
Awesome piece!
em wilder
just WOW! it's like this poem can be about anything, but it's not. It is about something that you, the writer, chose. To us reader's though, it feels like it can be about anything that we choose. Keep writing, this is great!!
Anne Blackwood
So I just found out your name (I promise I wasn't stalking you... okay I was but I stalk everyone to some extent... I just saw the name Michael and whatever) and I freaking love it. Like I was highkey obsessed with that name for like a year.
Rohan’s Defender
Re: thank you! Yes, it’s kinda got an HG vibe, but actually it’s more based off of an old friend of mine. He was my grandma’s neighbor, and he was three years older than me. We were friends for like 5 years, and then he moved and never said anything to me. And then I saw him after that (he was a friend of my cousin) and he also didn’t say ANYTHING to me. That was really hard. But I’ve worked through it in writing before, and sometimes I think about it and like to write about it. It still makes for some interesting writing I guess.
Rohan’s Defender
Re: aw, thank you! I hope I’ll publish it someday (I need to work on it more...... but my first draft of book one is done!) And haha, I still don’t know where that came from! I don’t know his name, I might have to go ask him...... Thank you about Noelle, it was inspired from the song! :)
Rohan’s Defender
Ps. I feel special that I was the first one to find out! XD
sci-Fi
Uhmmmm this is amazing. Deep and serious and powerful and ugh I love it. Nice job mindfruit!!
Rohan’s Defender
Re: Connor!! Thank you, that’s so cool! Believe it or not, one of my book characters is named Connor (I promise I’m not making it up! It’s outside of WtW, but he’s kind of like Gale but.... kinder I guess no offense to Gale!) Okay so for some reason I imagine names/voices/appearances for people a lot of times. Jason kept coming to my my mind (I really have no idea why) and Michael (I honestly was thinking of F’Otter for that one...) But I think it’s so cool that I have a character named Connor! Thanks for sharing! And also, I guess I’ll share something about myself in return, it’s only fair. Hmmmmm........ my middle name is Noelle.
Anne Blackwood
Re: Yep she is! Gosh every new thing I learn about you makes me like you more lol.
Rohan’s Defender
Re: Thank you! I’m so happy it’s relatable! I’m glad, cause I wasn’t quite sure....
Yep, it was pretty terrifying. But hey, if I lived twice in my dreams, that’s got to mean something right? I don’t know... But thank you! Also, if you feel like sharing, I’d like to know your name. I’ve had a couple names that keep coming to my mind, but idk where they came from! XD Anyway, I understand if you don’t want to. But also you’re more than welcome! :)
Livsnjutare (#words)
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/191908/version/398781
Livsnjutare (#words)
ooo!! I love this!
Also, I published draft 2/3 of "the f-5 catastrophe"
Thanks for your very helpful review!!
Rohan’s Defender
Hey, just saw you’re up to 80 followers! Congrats on that!!!!! Your poetry is amazing!
Sarsora
This is amazing! I was wondering if you could review one of my piece, this is the link: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/194901/version/395976
Hanadee Cone
This piece brought tears to my eyes I loved it, It's so well written. I can just feel the emotion in this (good job)
Rohan’s Defender
*chases* not caress
Rohan’s Defender
Re: thank you! Yes, it’s interesting! Sometimes I don’t know that I’m dreaming though, like especially in some scary situations... I dreamed I was in the Hunger Games the other night. It took all of about 5 seconds after the games started for Cato to come after me. So yeah. But I lived (and won with Peeta and Rue.....) I’ve dreamed I’m in the Games at least twice. Someone always caress me
Tula.S
this piece is beautiful. it's so well-constructed and fresh.
Chloe :) <3
This is amazing!
Rohan’s Defender
Re: Aw, thank you! Yes, it just kept getting longer and longer, and I was almost crying too! So yeah. But thank you, I always put a lot of emotion into them so it’s interesting to write.
dream02
Re: oh thx! I thought it sucked to be honest lol!
lochnessie
re: haha oh well
Anne Blackwood
Re: Thank you!
Lol it's fine I was just giving you a hard time. But if someone breaks your heart, I will track them down and give them the mom glare. And I might throw something. At them.
Rohan’s Defender
This is so vivid and emotional! So philosophical! It’s an amazing piece!
RemovedUser1
Wow, I love this! I’m not that good at poetry, so I always think “bad” poetry is amazing! Although, I’m pretty sure not poetry is bad, because... it’s poetry. But I love how you took two very real emotions and described them so well! Great job!
anemoia (#words)
This is so beautiful. I know I overuse that word, but it really is. Raw, emotional, real, and sweet. Could fit right in a realistic YA book (in a good way. Reminds me, for some reason, of Hope and Other Punch Lines by Julie Buxbaum, even though it's not really related.
Nathaniel G. Williams
Can you read my speech contest submission? Please review!
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/195062/version/396958
Anne Blackwood
YES I started a thing. *insert maniacal laugh that probably confused the other denizens of my house*
lochnessie
re: thank you!
and this comment would be way out of place if i didn't add ..
aww, is mindfruit in LOVE??
Treblemaker
This made me smile, what a wonderful piece with simple beautiful gestures. Also thanks for the welcome to Wtw, I was very confused about this site and your welcome was greatly appreciated!
(sk)eyesofocher
wait is Mindfruit in love? I saw annes comment and couldn't help but ask XD
Anne Blackwood
Awww is mindfruit in love?? *roots for you* This piece is do sweet.
dream02
This is amazing!!!