antizoeclub

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she/her :)
capricorn sun
blm! acab!

message board quote by richard siken <3

Message from Writer

your body told me in a dream it's not afraid of anything.

suburb blues

September 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

8

outside my window nothing and no one falls. there is no rain here. no sudden striking love. there is a cracked asphalt driveway and garages always open. autumn has decided we are not worth its time. a concrete jungle painted crudely in the greens of summer. pink if we’re lucky. there is nothing to symbolize and nothing to declare but we like to watch the colors in moonlight.
they are biting bullets across the street and i am swallowing them whole. if i hold enough of anything inside of me maybe i will become the weapon. god knows words weren’t enough. i am an encyclopedia of nothing; no order. language is my second tongue and action my first. i swallow bruises and speak in punches, think: one of these will land. the world’s an enemy, right?
i awake from red wine dreams on sunday, don’t go to church. turn my eyes to the ground and ask the devil to give me another sword to swallow. i could be good at this. the days are sludge, hearts dragging behind me in the snow, chains on tires. there are no winters here. the circus is more alive at night but i don’t know if i am watching or walking a tightrope and praying i don’t fall. i don’t pray to anything. how do the birds do it? they are not afraid to believe in nothing. they sit on powerlines and watch me sit on my porch and they do not watch this but i am crumbling a bit. this is the real circus. i don’t need to go anywhere.

my room carries the bitter stench of apathy and i fear i am the source. limbs holding their breath and swallowing. i did not think i did this but then one morning i woke up with sleeping arms.

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  • September 22, 2020 - 3:11pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • ek503

    oh your pieces seriously never fail to impress. each line really deserves multiple readings, and i love love how the last stanza ended this wonderful piece. gahh i'm in love.


    28 days ago
  • rainandsonder

    ohh this is incredible!! seriously, i might have to bookmark this since i will definitely be coming back to re-read it in the future. i live in the suburbs, always have, and every single line of this brings up so many memories for me. "they are biting bullets across the street and i am swallowing them whole. if i hold enough of anything inside of me maybe i will become the weapon." agh this is so freaking good! those lines in particularly remind me of the poem "wishbone" by richard siken. do you read siken? he's one of my favorite poets, your style kind of reminds me of his. anyway, love this prose poem!


    about 1 month ago
  • bellairet

    Ahhhh "suburb blues" perfect title! I love your use of shorter sentences, really accentuates the tone. Can I just say your pieces always have such a strong mood to them. This one's "late autumn evening on the porch" vibes :) "they sit on powerlines and watch me sit on my porch and they do not watch this but i am crumbling a bit. this is the real circus. i don’t need to go anywhere." The language is so matter-of-fact it's even more meaningful! Great piece!


    about 1 month ago
  • Paisley Blue

    woah... your writing always brings me down from the clouds and gives me a look at the present <3 this is beautiful!!!


    about 1 month ago