journal.screams (#Queenie's Halloween)

United States

(formerly journal.scribbles)
(formerly formerly best at procrastinating)

-Asian American
-embraces all the band kid/clarinet stereotypes

Message to Readers

I'm going to continue revising and making this poem better, so I'd really appreciate any feedback, including criticism. I won't be offended! Be as harsh as you see fit!

So the first version I wrote kinda felt like a confession (which I guess it was) of the racist views that I now know have clouded my judgement of people. I'm hoping that this draft is more of a call to action? If that makes sense? Please let me know which version you think is better and whether I achieved the tone shift I wanted.

I know that BLM isn't "trending" as much as it was a few weeks ago, but it's still just as important. Since the first time I published this, I've been researching and educating myself on how to fight racism. If you haven't yet, I highly encourage you to too. Here's a list of helpful links:

Sorry for this super long message box!

A Venn Diagram of These Two Pandemics (revised)

September 18, 2020


We’ve been socially distancing for longer than I thought.
We were all infected long ago. 

I’d go with Mommy to the store. 
I’d put on a mask of polite I’ll just
get out of your way
I’d knock potato chip bags to the floor as 
I avoided this unknown walking down 
the grocery aisle. This unknown, this danger,
I’d step back to let them pass,
and I’d pass by without knowing that 
I’m the only dangerous one.

Only now as I see people get sprayed in the eyes
and shoved to the ground fighting the virus I inherited
from the founding fathers of our world, I see 
how deadly it is,
because we hold these lies to be
self-evident that people
who don’t look like us aren’t people, 
and people who don’t treat people 
like people never look like
us. All men are created equal. 
That’s a fundamental truth. 
Why does it get warped in our minds
into just another symbol?
It’s just another symptom.

I walk down a grocery aisle now.
Every interaction is avoidance 
and every thought is 
will this person have the virus? 
will they be the one to kill me?
I get a tiny glimpse now
of the hospital bed that I should’ve been in. 

If a camera hadn’t caught
a man die with another’s knee to their neck, 
would I have gone on carrying this virus? 
Even asymptomatic, 
could I have spread it to another 
knee on a neck? Fear: 
the side effect of one pandemic, 
the cause of the other,
the cough that began with 
a tickle called history 
in our throat.
Learn from our mistakes,
they say, but we’re learning 
the wrong lessons.

So blame a lab in China,
blame the knee on the neck.
Blame the ones who don’t wear a mask,
blame the bastards that blame the neck.
But when you’re done mindlessly liking
another BLM post,
take a step back.
There is no test.
We’d all test postive.
What are we really staying six feet away from?


See History
  • September 18, 2020 - 2:11pm (Now Viewing)

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  • asegreti

    OH MY GODS I LOVE THIS. This is so beautiful and deep and true and i- oh my gods. I really loved all of the vocabulary you used!

    about 1 month ago
  • Hanbanhandstand

    Whoa... This is mind-blowing awesome!!!
    Replying: Thanks! I actually LOVE writing reviews, so if you ever need/want another one, just ask and get to it ASAP!!!

    about 1 month ago
  • Ghoulgirl2020 (#Queenie's Halloween | I have been called Cool before if you know what I mean) ;)

    Replying: I KNOW, RIGHT?! I read a HP fanfic where EVERYTHING WENT THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO! Like, Harry was adopted by Minerva's nephew (he had an adoptive sister), he was really smart so he hit it off with Hermione and the two of them were in Ravenclaw, and Harry and Hermione TRAINED TO BEAT VOLDEMORT SO THEY BEAT HIM IN THE FOURTH YEAR AND NOBODY DIED! They also FINALLY WENT TO TEACHERS (mostly Minerva) FOR HELP! Snape was fired, Minerva became Headmistress (because, let's be honest, Dumbledore's a good person, but HE ENDANGERS HIS STUDENTS WAY TOO MUCH!), and Hermione and Harry married! It was perfect! <3

    about 1 month ago
  • Tomb of Jade (#spookified)

    re: thank you so much for your comments on both my pieces...they really made my day!! You are a very talented writer as well don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise...just look at this piece!!

    about 1 month ago
  • buddingauthor

    Oh wow! This is amazing!! I absolutely love how you drew the similarities and with such powerful writing!!

    about 1 month ago
  • A Certain Type of Decisive

    Woah-- this is intense. It took turns that I didn't see coming and I'm glad it did.

    about 1 month ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    This is a very well written, very fascinating, and very powerful piece. Wonderful job! Thank you for writing it :)

    about 1 month ago