United States

i still dream of you

dubbed Comment Queen

est. 26.9.19

Message from Writer


"and you're telling me to be someone i'm not. and asking me to do that will kill me sooner than they will."

Profile Picture by @s_a_ee on Twitter

1. 16. 21

little boy with the bright eyes

September 18, 2020



i don’t know when it happened
it took us by surprise, sneaking up from behind
taking away our youth and childhood innocence
and i don’t remember growing
but here we are
when did we grow up?
when did you turn from the baby i envied
to the man standing before me?
when did you grow so tall
that you’re nearly the same height as me?
when did the little boy with the bright eyes
turn into the teenager hiding behind sarcastic comments?
i don’t remember growing up
do you?
i don’t remember when i stopped looking back
at the little boy with the bright eyes
and perhaps that is why that little boy
stopped looking back too
because now when i look at you
you’re a stranger i don’t know
you’re not the same little boy i used to play with
the same little boy i punched because you won a game
you aren’t the little boy who used to hide behind me
because now you’re in middle school
and you’ve grown up in the sense of time
but those memories keep replaying in my head
the kicking under the dinnertable to keep from getting in trouble
the playing with legos before technology existed in our world
the hiding of the tv remote in the couch cushions
the shoving to get to the favorite seat at the dinnertable
the falling asleep in the car together
the playful fights we had against our parents
because back then we were invincible together
our biggest fears only getting in trouble
but now i look at the ghost of our former selves
for i have become the “grown up” i longed to be as a child
and you have become the teenager who only cares about videogames
with the pimples decorating your forehead,
the soulless look in your eyes as you sigh in boredom
the eyerolls you steal behind our parents’ backs
will we ever go back?
because i keep hoping for that little boy with the bright eyes to look back
and sometimes i see him creeping back out
when you cry at the most benign of jokes
when you steal glances at me during dinnertime when you think i don’t see
when you sleep with your nightlight on
and it gives me hope that we’re not totally lost to each other
even when you scream at your friends when playing videogames
even when you do that jock tongue click thing, trying to blow off your mistake
even when you get me so angry at you i could wish the unthinkable
because until then
i’ll keep looking back at the little boy with the bright eyes
and one day i know you’ll look back too


See History
  • September 18, 2020 - 5:07pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • queenie

    is self reflection the main theme of this piece? that's what i'm getting from it. it's wonderfully written. i wish i could come up with stuff like this.

    about 1 year ago
  • Starting Anew! (still Coolgirl though)

    Wow! AMAZING!

    about 1 year ago
  • journal.scribbles

    This poem is so sweet... My little sister also recently started middle school so I can totally relate to this sense of nostalgia. This is just so beautifully and perfectly written. You're gonna make me cry over here.

    about 1 year ago
  • antizoeclub

    re: thank u sm!!! <3
    also this is lovely i can't believe i missed it! it's so honest and captivating,, i feel like i'm really transported by your writing :)

    about 1 year ago
  • Paisley Blue

    woah how did i miss this?! dude... you have me in tears and that never happens... woah. seriously this is so good. i love the simplicity of this poem, and how it is chock full of nostalgia and emotion and... *cries into a pillow* seriously wow.


    about 1 year ago
  • beth r.

    re: aw thanks :)
    "jayden you got a comment!"
    "yay let me see!!!!"

    about 1 year ago