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A Conversation with my Conscience (and an apology)

September 15, 2020

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12
    Joy turned to Conscience. She sighed. "What are we going to do?"
    Conscience gave Joy a pained look. "You know what you have to do."
    Joy nodded. "Yes. I made a huge mistake. And I would like to issue a huge apology."
    Conscience gestured for her to continue.
    "And...and I feel like I did a horrible job of representing God..." Joy bit her lip. "I'm so ashamed."
    "What are you going to do now?"
    "I think...I think I need a little quiet time in myself to figure out why I thought it was OK to put that out there. I didn't mean to hurt anyone..."
    "How long?"
    "I don't know...maybe forever. I'm not gonna give up writing, but I'm too ashamed to continue here." Joy turned to Conscience, the pain in her eyes obvious. "I hope that I can learn from this mistake and be a better person. Maybe I'll come back some day...but not any time soon. And I hope those I have wrong will forgive me."
    "Me too. Me too."
I unpublished a piece because I made a very idiotic mistake. I would like to apologize. I definitely don't want to disrespect anyone's culture, and once I re-read that piece, I am amazed that I published it. I don't know why I wrote it or phrased it like that and I truly am sorry. I hope you will forgive me.
Anyway, I'm going on a possibly permanent hiatus. All of those that pointed out my mistake were in the right, and I definitely am not playing the victim...I just need some time to reflect...I did a horrible job of representing God, and I hope everyone will forgive me.

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27 Comments
  • midnight.summerrose

    Re: Thank you :)


    2 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Can you please tell me what you think of my actual second draft?
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/190872/version/389097


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Oh, and to your reaction to the bug one: XD!! Yeah, a lot of people were sad about that, but I guess it’s to be expected XD.
    I would reply to all of your comments but that’d fill up your notifications XD.


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Replying: Oh my gosh, thank you! I didn’t expect you to read all of those XD. I’m glad you liked them! Those are some of my favorite pieces. And cool about your sponsor child! I’m not sure where Bolivia is so I’ll have to look it up XD. I’m so glad you liked them, and that they gave you some inspiration! So I assume you’re not taking the hiatus?


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    (Sorry for the long comment XD)


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Replying: Yeah, that is a good question. So, what I like to do is write about personal experiences with God, such as forgiveness, (https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/187218/version/378454), something that has happened to you or someone you know that was clearly a God-thing (https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/188046/version/385530) write a poem about God, because if you leave out His name until the end, I imagine people are more likely to read it (https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/189568/version/383385) and finally take a chapter or two of the Bible and re-write it. Like a Historical Fiction. That way it’s more of a story, but it is also about God. I have a whole series on that called “Christ’s Girls” (https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/186905/version/377784). You can also take prompts and spin them to be about God. Like the one “He Is When I Am Not” was a prompt that I made about God. Also, get creative! Find unusual ways to incorporate God in your writing; like from different perspectives, for example. (https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/187256/version/378530) You don’t have to read all of those, but if you’re interested in one of them, those could be your example. I’m not trying to brag, but I write at least one God-centered piece a week, and I’ll be willing to review any of your pieces. And if you got any questions, just shoot!


    2 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Re: Thank you for your review, yes it is supposed to be portraying slavery. I tried to be more historically correct on my second draft (which is out now). Thanks again!! :)

    This is soo good!! I'm sure people will forgive you. :)


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    I understand completely and I’m glad I could help <3


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Hi again. I wrote this piece a day or two ago, but I think it might help you a bit. It’s just a reminder that we are the opposite of perfect- all of us- but that God loves us anyway. https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/191310/version/387474 I’m not pressuring you into reading it, but I understand your feelings. I lost my best friend because we made a bunch of stupid mistakes. She didn’t want to admit that and stopped being my friend, but that’s not the point. I did that. I made the mistakes even though I knew they were wrong. But God forgave, and know I have a stronger relationship with Him. I wouldn’t be who I am today without my mistakes. (If you want to read more: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/191199/version/387203) I’m praying for you <3.


    2 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    replying: as poetri said, apologies, especially from the younger generation are quite rare around here, and i think it is truly admirable that you took the time to listen to us, know you were in the wrong and apologise. we've all made mistakes, and i commend you for recognising that in such a calm, respectful manner! there's no compulsion for a hiatus simply because of that piece, but if there are other reasons for your doing so, i wish you all the best :)


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:19.”


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Replying: It really was no problem. This paper is so heartfelt. We’ve all made mistakes. I know I have; I’ve made some really stupid mistakes. I am so happy that you’re reflecting, apologizing, and confessing rather than wallowing like we are so prone to do. If you take the hiatus, I will come and reread this paper and remember the amazing person so like King David and Apostle Paul. But if you don’t, I’ll be looking forward to reading whatever amazing things you post <3.


    2 months ago
  • EliathRose

    I have so much respect for you for apologizing. It’s incredible to see people who are willing to own up to their mistakes without trying to justify them or anything. And don’t feel the need to leave; if you continue this lovely attitude towards things like this that you have, then no need to worry! We need more people like this on WtW. Take any time you need, and I hope you have a good day. God bless!


    2 months ago
  • sunny.v

    and lastly: we are not the mistakes we've made, but we are the culmination of what we do in the aftermath of these mistakes. thank you for not playing the victim, and don't beat yourself up about this! like mia, said, thank you for setting a good example. best wishes to you.


    2 months ago
  • mia_:)

    hi! first of all, i really respect you. it's easy to send something into cyberspace and deny instead of owning up, so mad props for apologizing! i know you didn't mean harm by that piece and i'm super glad that you've set such a good example for the community! if you don't want to take a hiatus, no pressure! like poetri said, you've got a good head on your shoulders. if you need to reflect, go ahead! thank you for listening instead of getting defensive or playing the victim. that shows a lot to say how mature you are. keep it up!
    best, mia


    2 months ago
  • jaii

    it's honestly so rare to see someone on wtw own up to their mistakes and apologize. apology accepted. please don't feel like you must leave for this. reflection is always wonderful, but you can reflect while still remaining part of the community! but that's just my two cents; do whatever you feel is right.


    2 months ago
  • sunny.v

    re: thank you for looking at what i've said! no need to be ashamed. i have so much respect and admiration for the way you listened to things and reflected--that shows how good and true your character really is. just like poetri said, apologies are rare around here, so seeing one makes me really respect you. you seem like you have a good heart, so i dunno if a hiatus is necessary, but it's up to you. thank you for explaining the "blind love" aspect to me, i understand now, and apologies if what i said discouraged you from writing. keep on, and have an awesome day. God bless <3


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    YES everything Savanna said is so true!


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Nobody deserves forgiveness, because we can't perfectly make things right, but God forgives us anyway. I know He's forgiven me for a ton of dumb stuff. So I try to forgive people as He does. I hope you can show that forgiveness to yourself.


    2 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    I’ve never read any of your things, but based solely off of this and your name/profile pic, I already know I like you. It takes a good person to admit when they’re wrong. And remember David, the man after God’s own heart, one of the only great kings of Israel, who wrote a lot of Psalms, and who was considered God’s servant? He was a sinner too. He was a murdering adulterer, who killed a loyal soldier and stole his wife. But he confessed and repented, and God forgave him and used him in mighty ways. Remember Paul, the first Christian missionary, who wrote much of the New Testament, and who started tons of churches across Asia? He called himself the chief of sinners. He was a selfish person who held the coats of murderers and persecuted Christians. But he repented and confessed, and God forgave him and used him in mighty ways. So, consider yourself up there with David and Paul:).


    2 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Re: Even that comment was poetic <3 Hope you find what you're looking for


    2 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    I'm agreeing with Anne Blackwood I have no idea what you said but if you leave I'll certainly miss you <3


    2 months ago
  • madeline3.14159

    Re: yeah, that's hard. It's really hard for anyone to recognize the evil inside of themselves. However the mere fact that you feel like you let yourself down by saying it shows that you are above what you said. I hope you don't let this force you to leave, because I think you have a lot of potential as a writer. Remember that there is always someone above who is willing to listen to our confessions and forgive us unconditionally. <3


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Idk what you said but I really respect you for owning up to it. I hope that you don't leave because of this, but if it's necessary, I respect that as well. I pray that you don't keep this shame on your shoulders and instead release it to God. <3


    2 months ago
  • madeline3.14159

    Basically a repeat of what poetri said. It's so hard to publicly admit what you said was wrong and I'm so proud of you for doing that!


    2 months ago
  • poetri

    also, i'm not sure you need to take a hiatus for this...you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. but you do you.


    2 months ago
  • poetri

    wow--i'm impressed, apologies are rare around here. anyway, thank you for apologizing, that speaks volumes about your character. good on you for admitting you did wrong, and sincerely, publicly apologizing without any bs. all the best to ya :) :)


    2 months ago