abi's pov

United States Minor Outlying Islands

WtW's resident disappearing act

a WtW vet

tbh, i forgot exactly when i joined - late 2019

Message from Writer

i'm not a poet

"nothing ever ends poetically. it ends and we turn it into poetry." - kait rokowski

current book rec
-laura dean keeps breaking up with me by Mariko Tamaki

current song rec
-rät by Penelope Scott

stay safe, stay cool, kiddos!

love,
your angsty, pretentious alt wtw older sister :)

broken hearts and hairline fractures (aka, that one poem about things that hurt more than i ever thought they would)

September 15, 2020

FREE WRITING

7
loving you is like breaking my hand again.

it is a million universes crashing and burning within my aching bones, 
each longing for a hand to hold.

it is the dull chill of ice against joints;
a bitter attempt to freeze all feeling out,
                to become cold.   

it is those eternal words you spoke,
'i'd never fall in love with a writer; i don't want to be immortal' 
and the way their irony makes my joints throb
as i write this petty poem.   

it isn't pain;
it's nothing,
and i think that's worse because nothing reminds me of doing nothing with you,
saying nothing with you,
               being nothing to you.   

it is the memory of watching a cloudless sunrise;
of feeling the warmth spread through my bones;
of knowing that, with you, today might be a good day;
                  all of this, only to remember that it's rainy outside
                                  and you're not here with me.

loving you is like breaking my hand again,
                                                                            and again,
                                                                                              and again,
                                                                                                                  and again.

and, god, it hurts.   

it hurts with every time i think to call, yet never do.   
it hurts with every road that leads back to you.   

                                             it hurts like hell, but there's nothing i can do,  
so i'll ice my hand, finish this poem, and pray to a god i'm not sure exists that one day loving you will heal.
short and messy, but it's okay

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  • September 15, 2020 - 7:02pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Paisley Blue

    oh wow... this hit me hard. wow. really amazing poem. you captured the feeling so well and nearly had me crying by the end.
    "it is the memory of watching a cloudless sunrise; / of feeling the warmth spread through my bones; / of knowing that, with you, today might be a good day; / all of this, only to remember that it's rainy outside / and you're not here with me" wow <3 I really love this! stunning piece!!! <3


    2 months ago